Moving on
by Cherry13
Summary: Attraction blossoms, and so does jealousy. AuronLuluWakka triangle. Please read and review! How do I know where to take the story, if you don't tell me what you want?
1. Noticing

Lightening rocked the inn at the Thunder Plains, and upstairs, in his bed, Auron jolted awake.  
  
His sleep had been light, troubled. For obvious reasons, he had not crossed into the Farplane with the rest of the group at Guadosalam. But it never failed to escape him how much people seemed changed when they returned. It was perfectly understandable, of course. Seeing the dead. See someone who seems so very alive and just outside your reach. Knowing that if you were seeing them, then they were dead.  
  
Auron had seen it in Yuna's face. Sorrow mixed with a kind of quiet strength. Seen it in Wakka's face, as he talked with his dead brother. Auron severely doubted that if the trip to Guadosalam had not been made at this particular point in time, Wakka would have made the journey on his own. Chappu was as integral a part of Wakka's psyche as blitzball was. Of course, there had been Tidus as well, Auron reflected.  
  
As the lightening struck yet again, he lifted himself from the bed. His one good eye looked around the room for a second, and took in the scene. A single candle illuminated the small room. His sunglasses rested on the small writing table against the wall. His coat was thrown over a random chair. His sword, ever-present, leaned up against the headboard of the bed. Auron ran a hand through his hair, and brushed it over his face. The black sleeveless shirt he wore seemed all at once stifling, and he took it off. With a sigh, he crossed to the window, and opened it. As he gazed out, and felt the wind blow in, Auron thought.  
  
Tidus had seemed the most changed for about an hour. But then, the youth was most of the time clueless, and as soon as something else caught his attention, like the false hope that Yuna would not choose to marry Maester Seymour, he was fine once more.  
  
Auron stood at the window, and remembered.  
  
Rikku had lingered outside of the Farplane as well. Being Al Bhed, she, of course, shunned the pyreflies, and the supposed souls of the dead that would confront her there.  
  
'I keep my memories inside.' She'd told Tidus.  
  
And Auron could not fault her for it. He suspected it had less to do with her Al Bhed heritage, and more to do with personal decision.  
  
'Whadda ya suppose it's like in there?' She'd asked Auron as they waited for the others.  
  
'I cannot say.' He replied. 'Why not ask Yuna when she returns?'  
  
'Yunie's got too much on her mind.'  
  
'Then ask Lulu.'  
  
Auron's tone had made it clear to the young Al Bhed that he did not wish to talk, and the pair had sat in silence until everyone else had returned.  
  
Then ask Lulu.  
  
"Ask Lulu." Auron murmured to himself.  
  
His hand reached out, and he found his jug of sake easily. As he pondered, he sipped.  
  
"Ask Lulu." He murmured, once more.  
  
Most of the group had seemed appropriately somber on returning from the Farplane, all things considered. But the face of the black mage had troubled him. Lulu was dark. She was solemn. She was frequently quiet and despondant. It all lent to that air of melancholy beauty that she had around her, and it was understandable. The death of a lover could do that to a person.  
  
But something had changed on the Farplane for Lulu. Something small, but very significant. Lulu's depression seemed to have deepened a bit, and Auron was worried about her.  
  
Who seemed to be the backbone of the group? Lulu, who was so knowledgeable, who had reluctantly taken Tidus under her wing to educate in the ways of Spira. Lulu, who was the only other one in the group, besides Auron himself, who'd been on a pilgrimage before. Lulu, who was the only other one in the group willing to deal out the harsh truths and brutal honesties that needed dealing out.  
  
Another sip of sake, and Auron found himself absorbed.  
  
She was far too delicate to excelt at the stance of a warrior, and yet made up for that shortcoming admirably. Her magic was rivaled only by the grand maesters of Yevon, by the high summoners. Only a trifle more experience, and the right kind of accoutrements, and Auron reckoned she'd be able to best even them.  
  
And yet, he knew that she would never do such a thing. Under all that power, Lulu was still loyal. She was gentle, and noble.  
  
Another flash of lightening, and Auron turned from the open window. His footfalls were muffled by the roll of thunder, and he found his shirt where he'd left it. The air had cooled his bare skin, and he yanked the shirt over his head once more.  
  
Yes, Lulu's face came again and again to Auron's mind, and no matter how he stalked his room, and how much sake he drank, he could not be free of her. Only one thing to do, as far as he could see.  
  
Auron slipped his sunglasses onto his face. He'd never gotten used to the great scar which ran down his face. He did not think about it; it did not weigh on his mind so much. But when he came around people, he liked to hide as much of it as possible. Beneath the black lens, it was quite gruesome.  
  
He knew she'd be awake in her room now. She always was. She never slept. Around the campfire, she'd lain in her bedroll, studying her magic by the light of the fire. Often, Auron would be woken by Kimahri for the second watch, and he'd see her, still flipping pages. Sometimes, but not often, she would be passed out from exhaustion, her spellbook laying where it had fallen on her chest, arms splayed where they'd finally came to rest. It was her own way of dealing with her dreams of Chappu, Auron suspected.  
  
His hand slipped around the neck of his sake jug, and silently, he cracked open the door to his room. No one stirred in the hallway. Just as well. Auron did not particularly feel like explaining himself to anyone. Not that he would anyway.  
  
His naked feet made soft slapping noises on the cold stone as he stole down the hallway to where Lulu's room was. Just to the left of Yuna's room, and with Wakka's room straight across, he found her door. Auron smiled to himself. Lulu placed herself where she could guard Yuna. She'd do well; she thought ahead. Wakka placed himself where he could guard both women. He'd do well because he followed his love for Lulu.  
  
From Wakka's room, Auron heard Tidus's incessant chatter, and Wakka's replies. The two were loud enough that he could hear they were discussing old blitz matches. The noise they made drowned out the sound Auron's knuckles made as he knocked on Lulu's door. The was silence a moment, from within Lulu's room, and then the sound of a chair scraping on the floor as it's occupant pushed it out from beneath a table, or desk.  
  
From across the hall, the enthusiastic conversation had tuned down just a notch. Auron looked to the door, expecting it to open. He knew Wakka had heard the knock. Wakka's vigilence could not be faulted. His only failing was that he did not guard Yuna as well as he guarded Lulu.  
  
The gilded doorhandle to Lulu's room turned, and Auron's head whipped back around. Pale light slid out the doorway, and there Lulu peeked out at him through the opening.  
  
Auron knew he remained outwardly inscrutable, yet inwardly, he was astonished.  
  
It was true, after all, what his father had said about a woman's beauty shining through at the most simple of moments.  
  
Tonight, she'd taken down the endless rows of braids, and brushed the raven hair until it shone. It flowed over her shoulders all the way to her knees. The usual black dress was discarded for a simple gray robe, neckline rich with heavy embroidery. Auron could see that she wore little under it.  
  
Wakka and Chappu. Impeccable taste in women, he thought.  
  
"Sir Auron? May I help you?" Her voice came. Claret eyes regarded him with surprise. An eyebrow arched up in curiousity.  
  
"I cannot sleep. I find the need for intelligent conversation." Auron knew his tone sounded gruff. He was mildly glad that he was known for little else.  
  
From across the hall, the noise had ceased. He knew that their voices had been heard.  
  
"Of course." Lulu replied.  
  
Her eyes went behind him, across the hall, to Wakka's door.  
  
Most likely, she did not even realize she'd done it, but Auron could not but liken that glance to the way a little girl would look to see if her father was watching her steal cookies.  
  
"Come in, and sit." She offered.  
  
She backed away, and allowed him to enter. Auron stepped into her room, the sake jug still in his hand.  
  
As he turned around, he heard the click of a door latch, and he had just enough time to see Wakka's surprised face, staring at Lulu's back, just as she shut the door.  
  
***  
  
Lulu herself had not seen the expresson on Wakka's face as he'd caught the sight of Auron going into her room. Her back had been to the door as she'd shut it. She was surprised that Sir Auron had sought out her company.  
  
It was true that insomnia ran rampant in the Thunder Plains, but the man had never directly interacted with her before. It made her nervous, and she had an inkling that perhaps it had something to do with Wakka.  
  
Now standing bathed in the wan light of her own candlabra, Lulu felt a familar stirring in her blood. She felt vulnerable in her robe, and discreetly, she tightened the ties on her garment. As for that small spark of attraction, she killed it as soon as she recognized it.  
  
What would Chappu think?  
  
"You cannot sleep? That's normal enough here." She spoke, when he did not.  
  
"Neither could you." Auron's eyes went to her spellbook, which lay open on her desk. She smiled, faintly.  
  
"Couldn't isn't really the right wood. More like, I don't want to." She explained, as she moved to close the book.  
  
"You jeopardize us all, fighting with deadened reflexes." Auron said.  
  
A cup sat on Lulu's bedside table, and he moved to retrieve it. He poured a measure of the sake into it, and handed the cup to her.  
  
"You need to sleep."  
  
"I sleep enough. You know I would never jeopardize Yuna."  
  
Auron turned away, and went to stand at the window. The sake jug went to his lips. Lulu stood where she was, at the table, with glass of sake in hand. She felt very confused.  
  
Was this an interrogation? Had she done something wrong?  
  
"Do you have nightmares, Lulu?"  
  
"What would I have nightmares about?"  
  
"Do I really need to answer that question?" Auron glanced over his shoulder at her.  
  
Lulu's face darkened. Of course, he meant Chappu.  
  
"How do you know about my nightmares? They're nothing. I endure them."  
  
She frowned once more. She sounded guilty, as if she were defending herself from something, the way her words tumbled out.  
  
"Wakka told me." Auron turned from the window. He gestured to the sake. "Drink that. It will put you to sleep. He told me. He worries about you. Do you know that he's in love with you?"  
  
Obliging, Lulu drank some of the sake, but then set the cup down. She folded her arms, and looked away from Auron's face, which seemed to be able to see right through her.  
  
"He's never said anything. He's never done anything. What would I do if it was brought up? Chappu hasn't been dead that long."  
  
Ruby eyes looked once more at Auron. They seemed to glitter with a dangerous anger.  
  
"It will never happen anyway. Nothing has changed since Chappu was here."  
  
"Nothing has changed?" Auron sat the jug of sake on the table. "He coveted you right in front of his brother's face?"  
  
"Wakka doesn't covet me." She shook her head.  
  
"The blessing of being outside of a situation, is being able to see it with eyes unclouded."  
  
Auron's hand came up to brush a tendril of hair from Lulu's face.  
  
"He places his rooms near yours in the inn's. He comes to you to be told what to do. It is as if you are the summoner on this pilgrimage, and not Yuna, for the way he guards you. Tell me he doesn't love you."  
  
Lulu cast her eyes downward. What Auron said made sense. She could not deny the things he pointed out. She could have ignored Wakka's behaviours forever, but not when it was pointed out to her. Auron's hand came to her face once more. He slid a finger under her chin, and tilted her face upwards towards his.  
  
"Don't look down as if you've done something wrong."  
  
Auron's voice was still gruff, but it was gentle. Lulu's eyes went to him in surprise. Auron was not a man of wasteful actions.  
  
"You were very pale today, after the Farplane." Auron said.  
  
"I want the simpler times." Lulu murmured. "I want Chappu back. But it will never be. I'm alive. He is dead."  
  
Abruptly, Auron backed away, and retreated once more to the window. There was silence in the room for a moment.  
  
"Drink that sake." He ordered.  
  
"It's all gone." Lulu replied. "Why did you come here?"  
  
Once more, it struck her as odd that Auron had shown up at her door. She moved to stand beside him at the window.  
  
"I could not sleep."  
  
"And yet you come to me. Why?"  
  
A flash of lightening illuminated the room. It cast light on Sir Auron's face as he looked over at her.  
  
"Why, Sir Auron?"  
  
There was a sigh from him, when it was dark once more.  
  
"We are alike, you and I." He said, softly. "Hardened by sadness. Willing to die for an end to the sorrow."  
  
"It will end."  
  
"And you know it will end with Yuna's life."  
  
"I was not the one to make that choice. It was hers all along." Lulu said.  
  
Auron turned to look at her once more. Almost as if he could not control it, again, his hand went to her face. He cupped her chin between his thumb and index finger.  
  
'She's so little.' He thought to himself. 'Why did I never notice how little she was before?'  
  
Lulu was once more surprised by his caress. The moment was tender. They both stood watching each other, listening to the thunder, the never-ending storm. Auron touching Lulu, and her meekly accepting his carres without a hint of expression.  
  
"You should sleep." He whispered. "We need you at full-strength. Always."  
  
"As well as you." Lulu's voice came out in a husky whisper as well.  
  
For a second, her own hand came up,and rested on his wrist. She was swept away in the moment. For a time, she could not deny the sudden unbearable attraction to this man. For a time, she could not quash it.  
  
When the gesture was broken, Auron was the one to do it.  
  
His hand dropped, and he turned from her. Without another word, he left her room. Lulu was left in bemused, and baffled silence.  
  
For a moment, she thought about Wakka across the hall, and then stared off into space where Auron had been standing a moment before.  
  
And then she closed the door behind her. Alone again, she moved in a sort of daze to the candlestick, and blowing them out, threw the room into darkness. 


	2. Wayside

The next morning came bleak and cold for Wakka. He awoke just before dawn, and lay in his bed, staring out the window at the lightening flashes.  
  
'It was just me and Lu. I thought she'd see reason by the end of this pilgrimage. Thought she'd come to me if I was just there for her.' Wakka thought.  
  
Idly, he raised a bare foot and scratched at the back of his calf.  
  
The sound of Tidus's snoring across the room had been loud, but Wakka had become accustomed to the noise. It wasn't what had kept him awake last night. Over and over again, he saw the scene played out. Both of them looking like they were ready for bed. Auron carrying his sake jug. Lulu in nothing but her robe. The light so pale in the room.  
  
'Maybe I'm reading too much into it, ya? Maybe they were just discussing the next few stops on Yuna's pilgrimage.' Wakka second-guessed himself.  
  
Lulu had gone on two other pilgrimages before this one. Auron had been all the way to Zanarkand. That was a legitimate scenario.  
  
But the scene hadn't felt like it. There were too many things in the atmosphere....  
  
'I'm getting tired, I can't think. Can't phrase my words right.' Wakka rolled over, and threw his arm over his eyes.  
  
Atmosphere wasn't the right word. The way Auron had stood at Lulu's door wasn't the way it should have been, had they been discussing pilgrimage strategy. It had struck Wakka as clandestine.  
  
Wakka grunted in frustration. He couldn't stand the thought of Auron putting his hands on Lulu. He couldn't stand the thought of him kissing Lu, and laying with her, and waking up next to her. Absolutely couldn't stand it!  
  
Before he knew it, Wakka was out of bed, and dashing across the room to go pound Auron into a pulp.  
  
But he stopped himself just at the door.  
  
'This is crazy.' He thought. 'I can't say for sure that that was happened. I can't accuse Lu and Sir Auron without some kind of proof.'  
  
You don't even have a right to say anything. A little voice said in his mind. She's not yours. Lu's got a right to be with who she chooses.  
  
"Dammit!" Wakka balled up a fist, and pounded it on the door of his room. Tidus continued sleeping, oblivious.  
  
For a moment, Wakka just stood there, at the door to the room he and Tidus shared. He listened to the thunder crash in the background. He could hear the utter silence of the hallway outside the door.  
  
Gradually, he calmed his beating heart, and retreated from the door. Eventually, he ended up back in his own bed.  
  
'Rather be in Lu's bed...' Wakka thought.  
  
And then he was surprised at his own thought. Yes, he was surprised. A little ashamed too. Lulu may be dark. Lulu may be cold sometimes, and untouchable. But Yevon! What he wouldn't do to be able to trace his fingers over her bare skin!  
  
And he felt ashamed because Lulu was his angel. She was the goddess of his idolatry. If he had ever been tempted from worship of Yevon, it was to lay his own sacrament at the altar of Lulu.  
  
Tortured by these thoughts, Wakka rolled over, and clutched his blanket tight to him. Beneath the comfortable wool, he curled into a fetal position, and retreated into memories of the past.  
  
For an instant, Wakka cursed his brother Chappu, and then felt terrible. He shouldn't. He mustn't, but he did resent his brother for making the woman Wakka loved fall in love with Chappu instead. Wakka couldn't count the number of times he'd had to turn his head and look away from Lulu and Chappu kissing, or Lulu and Chappu curling close together around the fire. Even now, after his brother was long-dead, Wakka's blood still boiled.  
  
'She should have been mine.' Wakka thought bitterly. 'I'm a fool. I never speak up. I never say anything. I just keep hoping she'll see that I love her because I'm always there.'  
  
Wakka cursed himself long after the sun had risen, and Tidus had gotten out of bed.  
  
"Hey there, sport! We've got to get going! Get up!" Tidus's obnoxious voice rang out. With a thump, the chipper blond launched himself onto Wakka's bed.  
  
"Ya, we got a big day ahead, huh?" Wakka said, half-heartedly.  
  
It was no use. He wanted to sleep, but Tidus wouldn't let him. The pilgrimage wouldn't let him. He had a duty.  
  
"Yeah! We've got to go catch up with Seymour and let him know that Yuna's dissing him."  
  
"Uhh...Tidus...?" Wakka started.  
  
"And then, after that...what's next? Bevelle?"  
  
"Tidus....?"  
  
"I'm going to go wake up Yuna!" Tidus bounced out of Wakka's bed, and dashed out of the room before Wakka could stir.  
  
With a sigh, he got up. No use postponing the inevitable, he thought.  
  
'I'm going to have to see them together anyway.'  
  
And so he set about his morning ritual. Bath, combing, and morning prayer.  
  
Maybe things would look better after some food...?  
  
*******************************************************  
  
Down the hallway, Auron too, was rising from his bed. Kimahri and Rikku had taken the watch shifts for the night, and so he'd been allowed to sleep as much as he wanted. He woke with the sour taste of old sake in his mouth, and grimacing, he spat.  
  
But then, as Auron went about his morning routine, he found himself thinking once more about the black mage.  
  
As he soaped up his face, and drew a straight razor down the length of his chin, he daydreamed about Lulu combing out the massive length of ebony hair, and plaiting the great mass of it. He daydreamed about her stripping off that damned robe, and soaping up creamy skin. Rising the foam away. Gently chaffing her flesh dry with the softest of towels......  
  
"Dammit....OW!"  
  
The straight razor fell into the basin before him.  
  
With a grunt, and a sigh, Auron bent forward to examine the cut on his jawline in the mirror. It was a doozy. It seemed to bleed quite a bit, and with several more soft curses, he pressed a cloth to the cut.  
  
Just as well. It would teach him to think about women while he had a blade at his throat.  
  
When he again picked up the razor, and attempted to once more, shave, Auron forced his thoughts instead to Tidus. Which invariably led to Wakka, since the two were inseparable.  
  
Wakka had seen him last night. Auron would have to be an idiot to not know that Wakka loved Lulu. There'd be some consequences.  
  
Oh yes. As sure as Yevon made little green apples, there be a consequence or two to deal with.  
  
A sigh.  
  
Auron continued with his shaving.  
  
******************************************  
  
In her own room, Lulu was just about ready to go. Sleep had never come to her. The nightmares of Chappu were too much for her to bear that night, and so, she'd refused them. Instead, she'd learned a new spell. Flare would serve the group well.  
  
Her things were packed. Her hair was done. She was finished with her morning's bath. Now she sat on the edge of her bed, and pulled her stockings on.  
  
Honestly, the encounter with Sir Auron didn't weigh on her mind a whole lot. Instead, it was the things he'd said about Wakka that bothered her.  
  
Fool, she thought.  
  
She'd known for a very long time that what was between her and Wakka was more than just friends. He was more than her brother-in-law. He was more than her friend.  
  
And she'd denied for as long as she could, because it hadn't seemed right.  
  
Not that it hadn't felt right... But she wouldn't think of that now.  
  
With a heavy sigh, Lulu reached for the bottle of clear nail enamel she kept in her pack. Her stockings were prone to runs. She'd have to buy some new ones when they reached Bevelle. Macalania would not stock such things.  
  
Carefully, she dabbed a drop of the clear polish on the run in her toe. Not that it would show, but she'd really rather not have a great run going all the way up her leg, and with her luck, that's exactly where it'd be.  
  
And while that polish dried, she gently pulled her other stocking on, securing it at her thigh with the clip of her garter belt. This stocking too, had runs, and she hiked up her skirts to reach the nearest one at the back of her calf.  
  
As she bent over her handiwork, there was a rap at her door.  
  
"Come in..." She grunted softly. Lulu did not look up. Most likely, it was Yuna, or Rikku.  
  
The person turned the handle, and entered.  
  
And there was silence for the span of a minute or two.  
  
Lulu looked up in annoyance.  
  
"Yes, what is it...?"  
  
And there was Wakka, beet-red as he stared at her.  
  
"I'm sorry, Lu. I didn't know you were busy."  
  
A flush lit up her cheeks. She blew a breath through her bangs, and for the space of a split-second, fanned the hair away from her other eye.  
  
"It's....okay. Like you said...you didn't know."  
  
"Ya." Wakka stood there, and stared at her.  
  
Lulu sat, with the nail enamel brush resting between her thumb and forefinger. Neither said a word.  
  
"Well...?" She prompted.  
  
Wakka jolted as if he'd been slapped, and tore his eyes away from her legs.  
  
"I...uh. I just came to get your pack." He gestured towards the satchel and bedroll, which held Lulu's things. She looked towards where he gestured, never noticing that he was looking at the floor, and at the table...anywhere but at her face.  
  
"Oh. Well...I'm not ready yet. Can you wait a second?"  
  
"Ya." Nervously, Wakka shifted from one foot to the other.  
  
Lulu held up her toe, and inspected the run. The enamel was dry, and she was ready to put on her boots.  
  
"Well, don't just stand there. Help me with this."  
  
"Oh. Yah."  
  
Hesitantly, Wakka stepped over, and took one of Lulu's knee-high boots in his hands. He fumbled with the black leather for a moment, but bent down, and let her slid her foot into it. His hands slipped a bit as he helped her work the boot on.  
  
'What is with him? He acts as if he's handling my underwear, and not my footwear..' Lulu thought to herself.  
  
"Hold the heel." She ordered. And as he did so, she pushed against it with her leg. With a sudden jerk, her foot slid into the bottom part of her boot. Wakka's hands slid up around her calf.  
  
He turned nearly as red as his hair.  
  
Wakka snatched his hands back as if he'd been burnt, and busied himself with the laces.  
  
"Don't know why you wear these things, Lu. You really ought to get something easier to put on." Wakka complained to her.  
  
"You know I like these boots."  
  
"They don't fit you so well no more. Your feet are too big. I've seen those blisters."  
  
Lulu had to bite her lip to keep from snapping at Wakka.  
  
"Chappu bought me these. I'll wear them until they wear out." She tried to say it as nicely as she could. Really.....that was the attachment to the boots.  
  
Besides....Wakka wouldn't be there to help her put on different shoes....  
  
Lulu shook that thought out of her head.  
  
There was silence in the room as Wakka and Lulu repeated the process with her other boot. When both of them were laced up, she gathered her skirt in her hands, and stood. It took a second to reaccustom her feet to the narrow fit, but when she was used to them, the gray leather cascaded down to the floor once more.  
  
"There. I'm ready to go. Is everyone else waiting?"  
  
"Ya. Tidus is downstairs bugging the receptionist though. And Rikku's draggin' her feet. So, I think we're okay."  
  
"All right then."  
  
At this, Wakka bent, and hoisted Lulu's pack to his back, on top of his own. As she watched, Lulu was suddenly struck with a tender moment.  
  
How nice of him to do this for her. Every day of this pilgrimage. Every time he and Lulu, and Yuna had ever gone anywhere...always, Wakka carried her things for her.  
  
Lulu's hand reached out, and rested on his shoulder.  
  
Wakka's eyes widened a bit, and he turned to look at Lulu as if she'd grown a third eye. When he moved to speak, his voice cracked, and he had to clear his throat and try again.  
  
"Everything okay?"  
  
"Yes." Lulu murmured. She looked up at him for a moment. And then, an impulse caught her.  
  
She stretched up on tiptoe, and lay her lips against his cheek. Wakka's reddish stubble brushed roughly against her lips, but she did not mind. In fact...it was even...pleasant....  
  
"Thank you." She said, very softly, as she moved away.  
  
Wakka continued to stare at her as if she'd sprouted another arm to accompany her extra eye. Lulu's purplish lipstick had left a mark on his cheek, near the corner of his mouth. It contrasted nicely with his red cheeks.  
  
"You're welcome." He said, after a moment of struggling.  
  
Lulu's lips quirked upwards in a smile. With that, she patted his arm, and swept from the room, leaving Wakka to stare after her in confused silence.  
  
**To be continued** 


	3. Blood

The next stop on the pilgrimage was the temple in Macalania. Yuna had a fierce desire to reach the temple, and give Maester Seymour her answer; she drove the group hard. By mid-day, they were still navigating the immense forest of Macalania, however. The Macalania woods were a dangerous place. Fiends were thick. In certain areas, the group could go no further than a few feet before they were attacked.

A particularly nasty fiend called a Spherimorph had attacked them just when the group was getting very tired. The battle had been long and hard. It had taken Lulu only a minute to adjust to the constant change of elemental magic attacks, but once she'd gotten the hang of the fiend's strategy, she'd let loose. The end result was that everyone was exhausted, and by the time Lulu stepped out onto the snow-covered path leading up to the temple, she could have shed tears of relief to see Rin's travel agency. She'd not slept well the previous night, and she was injured. Trading magic with a fiend was not her idea of fun. Gradually, she lagged further and further behind the group, until she had to stop and stand.

'I can go no further.' She thought. 'When did I become so weak? It shouldn't be like this. It wasn't that far...'

Weakly, Lulu bent, and braced her hands on her knees, much as a marathon runner would to regain his breath. The ebony braids swung forward, and swayed in the open air, trailing on the ground by her feet.

At the beginning of the pilgrimage...it had been so easy to go twice this distance. She'd had so much energy.

And she knew what had been draining it from her.

The damned Farplane. Guadosalam. Chappu.

'I'll never be free of you.' She whispered to herself. He'd only been dead for a little while. She still mourned him. He'd never let her go.

"Lu? You okay?"

The sound of Wakka's voice, heavy with concern startled her out of reverie. She straightened quickly, seeing Wakka rushing to her.

His sandals kicked up little clouds of snow as he ran to her.

"I'm...fine.."

But even as she said it, her body belayed her words. Dizzy, she stumbled a little. Wakka's strong arms came around her, and he squeezed her to him.

"Ya, you really look fine."

Funny. He was starting to sound like her in a way. The heavy sarcasm. Lulu digested that with a faint smile, and lay her arms about his shoulders to steady herself.

"Really. I'm fine. Just tired. I'll feel better with hot food and a bed."

"Well...okay. But I'm helping you walk there, ya?"

"That's fine."

Lulu didn't even feel well enough to argue with him right now. She was too tired. She felt too defeated.

She could think of a thousand excuses. But none were so true as she just wanted to savor his arms around her.

"Awesome! I got another rank in my Al Bhed!" Tidus screeched.

Since reaching Rin's travel agency, he and Rikku had been running around causing trouble. Auron leaned against the doorjamb and rolled his eyes at the young blond. Whoever's idea it was to turn Tidus onto the Al Bhed language should have been killed immediately. He'd only succeeded in alienating several helpful Al Bhed merchants along the way. Tidus's grasp of the language was improving, in all honesty, but he was a long way from being proficent.

"Wanker." Auron muttered to himself. He watched as Tidus and Rikku harassed the innkeeper.

"Kimahri think we sleep outside tonight."

"We will be, if the little wanker doesn't shut his mouth." Auron replied to the big blue Ronso. Across the room, Tidus had obviously uttered a social faux pas. The Innkeeper was turning purple with anger, and Rikku was hurriedly speaking to her. Most likely to save them from having to sleep on the group in the freezing snow.

"Auron want Kimahri go stop Tidus?"

Oh, it was so very tempting. It was soooo tempting to unleash Kimahri on Tidus. Truthfully, more than half the time, Tidus was very nearly unbearable. The boy was conceited, and had no sense of humour. Yevon's truth, he was also pretty slow at times. But he was decent-looking, and he was as devoted to Yuna as a puppy-dog, which was pretty much the only reason Auron saw to keep him around.

"No." Auron said. "We'll let him live today."

"Kimahri dissapointed."

A grin spread across Auron's face, and he had to pretend to be looking out the window to hide it.

But the smile that had crossed his face now dropped. It was replaced with a slight frown.

Outside, Wakka, with arms wrapped around her, was helping Lulu to walk to the Inn. Her head lay on his shoulder. Her face was paler than usual, and her eyes shut. A look of worry was on Wakka's face.

"What in Yevon's name...?"

Auron pushed himself away from the wall, leaving his massive sword behind. He shoved open the door, and jogged to where Wakka was approaching with Lulu.

"What's wrong?" He demanded.

"Lu's hurt." Wakka stopped, to readjust Lulu's weight. "She didn't tell me."

Auron had not noticed before that Lulu was clutching one arm about her waist. Now Wakka moved her hand aside, to show Auron a deep gash in her side. One of the Chimeras that wandered Macalania woods must have gouged her, and now Lulu was bleeding profusely.

"Shit."

Auron mumbled Without thinking, he slipped his arm around Lulu's back, and pushed Wakka away. Hooking his other arm around her knees, he swooped her up into his arms, and made for the agency at a run. Wakka followed just behind him.

Auron crashed through the door of the agency, startling Tidus, Rikku, Yuna, and Kimahri. At the sight of Lulu so pale, and the blood that dripped from her wound onto Auron's coat, the room came to life with activity.

"Quick! Upstairs!"

"I'll go get some hot water!"

"That's not necessary!"

"Yuna, your magic!"

"I'm taking her to a room upstairs." Auron decided. "Yuna, come with me. We've need of your white magic."

The girl bowed a little, face washed out with fright as she looked on her older sister.

"Yes, Sir Auron."

Wakka made to follow them as Auron and Yuna went for the stairs. Auron turned, and glared at him.

"Everyone else stays out of the room. Lulu needs air, and magic." He said. Wakka's face turned red with anger.

"Just a damn minute..." He started.

"Save it." Auron snapped.

In rage, Wakka turned, and stormed towards the door. With a hefty kick, he knocked the door open, and went outside. Tidus went trailing behind him, as Auron was climbing the stairs with Yuna at his side, and Lulu in his arms.

"Pompous, self-important...!" Wakka stormed a good distance away from the Inn, and flung down his own pack. Lulu's, he set on the ground gently. "Who does he think he is? Telling me I can't be with her!"

"Wakka! Wakka, chill!" Tidus followed the red-haired blitzer as he paced.

"You saw it. You saw the entire thing! Practically pushed me away!"

"Wakka, she's hurt. Auron had a point."

"Had a point? Brudda, I love ya, but sometimes you ain't got a fuckin' clue!"

Tidus stared at Wakka.

"What!" Wakka turned and glared at Tidus.

"Never heard you swear before." Tidus crossed his arms, and leaned against a nearby tree. His feelings hadn't been hurt by the profanity. He was used to hearing such things from other blitz teams. Instead, Tidus felt smug. Wakka may deny it from morning 'till night, but it showed just how much he loved Lulu, the way he was fussing now.

"I can swear plenty, ya?"

"Dude, it's so obvious. Why don't you just admit it?"

"Admit what?"

"You're jealous!" Tidus grinned, and spread his arms out.

"I'm worried about Lu, you idiot!"

"If you say so."

Now it was Wakka's turn to fold his arms. He turned away from Tidus.

"Just leave me alone, ya? I don't wanna talk to you right now."

A sigh escaped Tidus.

Now, his feelings were hurt.

Upstairs in the agency, in Lulu's bedchamber, Yuna finished bandaging up Lulu's wound. There was only so much that Cura could do. The wound had cauterized itself, and the bleeding had stopped immediately, but the skin would need time to knit itself back together, and until then, the skin would be raw and tender. Yuna had put some ointment on the scar, and taped a huge, soft piece of gauze over it. She wished fervently that she knew Curaga. Then the whole issue would have been moot.

Lulu slept peacefully. She'd passed out as she and Wakka had walked to the agency. She would stay as she was, lost in dreams, for a while.

From the doorway, Auron watched over this pale woman like a hawk. He wished that she were awake, so he could know that she was going to be better, but sleep was what she needed right now, and sleep was what she would get.

He watched as Yuna stood and approached him.

"She will be okay." Auron asked. The sentance sounded more like a statement, but Yuna interpreted it correctly.

"Yes, she will. She's so tired. She needs to sleep." Yuna bowed her head. "I didn't realize that last battle had taken so much out of her. I didn't mean to..."

"Mean to what? Subject her to it?" Auron shook his head. "Yuna, Lulu is your guardian. She's there to fight battles for you. This is her purpose. Quit punishing yourself."

"I still...I just..I should have made sure she was okay."

"If Lulu chose to hide her wound, then there was nothing you could have done about it."

Yuna's head bowed again. She looked sadly back at the bed. And then, still silent, she walked past Sir Auron, and left the room.

Auron was left standing in the doorway. He watched the rise and fall of Lulu's chest for a moment. Beneath her purplish lids, her eyes moved a bit in dream sleep. Auron looked at the time.

He might as well settle in anyway. In a couple of hours, he would need to sleep anyhow. And someone should stay in Lulu's room to make sure she was okay, to be there if she awoke and needed something during the night.

Auron elected himself for that duty.

His Murasame was leaned against the wall, and his coat was slung over the chair nearest the window.

As he removed his gloves, he settled into the chair, and leaned back against the wall, preparing for the long night.


	4. Snow

In the middle of the night, snow began to fall in Macalania. The powder-soft flakes made their descent, and blanketed the already-covered landscape of the frosty tundra. Nestled right in between the outskirts of Macalania woods, and the frozen plains, Rin's travel agency sat like a picture on a greeting card. Smoke came from the chimney, gathered from the many fireplaces of the Inn. The lights of the main lobby glowed cozily on the glittering snow. Only the receptionist, and a couple of insomnia-struck guests stirred. All the rest of Spira slept.

Auron was not one of the ones who could not sleep. Niether was Wakka, who was bunked down with Tidus. In fact, the only one in our little group who could not sleep was the very person who should have been the deepest in dreams.

Lulu had awoken a few scant hours after Auron had finally passed out. The timepiece which rested on the bedside table beside her, told her that the hour had reached 2:00 AM. She had tried to move, to get up from the bed, but as she started to raise herself up, she gasped softly, and dropped back down to the bed.

The pain in her side burned like a hot brand laid against her flesh. Her muscles screamed in fury at her. For a few moments, she could do no more than merely lay there, and pant as the pain washed through her belly in waves.

'So, I shall not be rising.' She thought to herself.

Which really was a shame, because she was thirsty. But she'd survive until the morning, when someone would come and help her get out of bed. She had no doubt that once she was standing, her wound would be much easier to bear.

She sent a hand questing down, gingerly, to prod the wound, and measure it's severity. Blessedly, her corset had been removed, and her dress as well. The tightness of the corset, obviously, would not have helped the wound, and the leather of her dress would have only aggravated it, and kept the air from it. She lay in her underwear, and a thin, strapless chemise. Beneath the light, grey silk, she could feel a great bandage covering the whole of the area. Lulu's prodding brought the firey pain back to the gash, and so she let it be. The scent of medicine hung in the air.

After that, Lulu'd had nothing to do, but gaze around the room, and out the window.

It had been to her great shock, to see Sir Auron propped up in a chair across the room, asleep. In fact, she'd almost bolted upright, and screamed in terror to see a figure there. Auron was cloaked in the shadows; only one candle burned in the room. At first, she not seen his face, only the outline of a masculine form. But she'd seen his scar first, and then realized who it was, and then lay there on the bed, with heart pounding.

'Fool.' She scolded herself. 'Of course, there'd be someone in the room with you, idiot.'

For a while, Lulu'd merely gazed at Sir Auron. She did not understand why he was up here. Surely, Wakka would be the more obvious choice to keep watch. Or perhaps Yuna. But perhaps something had happened after she'd passed out. Maybe Wakka had not wanted to deal with her.

For some reason, the thought hurt Lulu.

One minute, she'd been resting her head against his shoulder. She had been so very tired. She'd been dizzy. Only a second of rest, she thought.

And the next moment, blackness, all around. Waking up had been her most recent memory.

But she did not mind waking up to see Auron there. He looked immeasureably changed, now as he was, asleep. His eyes which usually squinted in speculation, and seemed to be sizing up everything, now seemed peaceful. There was no crease in his brow. His mouth was relaxed, and he did not frown. He seemed so at rest, and the site of him like so, put Lulu at ease.

She turned her head to gaze out the window.

It was snowing again. Little shock, that. It snowed every day in Macalania, just as it stormed every day in the Thunder Plains.

Ah, now there was a thought to consider. Lulu's eyes went back over to Auron.

The Thunder Plains. What had happened there, between she and him? Why did the air seemed changed, she wondered?

And it was then, that Lulu realized that she was attracted to the man.

She felt a blush light up her face in the dark of the room.

Attracted to a legendary guardian. She sounded just like a fangirl. She sounded just like one of the crazed girls who crowded the blitzball arena in Luca. Of course, she was attracted to Auron. Who the hell wasn't?

But that wasn't it. Lulu knew herself very well, to a degree. She knew she wasn't usually attracted to people, unless she felt there was a chance that attraction would be reciprocated.

And Yevon, it had certainly seemed so in the Thunder Plains.

That tender caress. The way Auron had touched her face.

Lulu was lost in such reminiscences when Auron woke up.

Auron had come to, suddenly, and silently, and without a single movement, as was his style. He'd developed the habit on his pilgrimage with Braska. The better to take the advantage of surprise on a fiend that was sneaking up. He let his eyes wander around the room, and they rested on Lulu.

Truthfully, he would have thought her still asleep, if he had not seen the candlelight shine off of her ruby eyes.

And Yevon help me, he thought, I know she's not feel well, but doesn't she look absolutely breathtaking?

Lulu's hair was spilled around her like a pool of ebony water. That little piece of hair that hung over her face was thrown back, and both of her lovely eyes were revealed. Again, Auron was struck by how delicate she looked. Perhaps that delicacy was enhanced more so because he so rarely saw that half of her face.

His eyes traced over the curve of her jaw, down her throat, to her bare shoulders, pallid and creamy in the candlelight.

He couldn't help the sigh that escaped him.

Lulu's face jerked towards him.

"You're awake." She said softly. "I hope I didn't wake you."

"No." He said simply.

"May I ask a favour?" Lulu's hand went to brush at her cheek. She was moving as little as possible, and Auron could not blame her.

"Of course." He leaned down from the chair, and stood.

"I'm so thirsty. May I have some water?"

Without a word, Auron moved to the bedside table. A pitcher rested on it, as well as a cup, and he poured it for her.

"Here. I'll help you." He said. Gently, he settled himself on the edge of the bed. Careful to avoid her injured side, he slipped his hand behind her head, and raised Lulu up just enough so that she could drink.

She sipped the water down greedily, and asked for more, and when she'd drank two glasses, Auron set the cup aside.

For a moment, neither said anything. Lulu and Auron only stared at each other in the candlelight.

'This is crazy.' He thought, even as he bent over.

Auron's lips met Lulu's. They roamed over hers gently, teasing, and pampering, ever so soft. Much softer than such a gruff man has any right to be. His fingers came up, and laid against the smoothness of her cheek, and Lulu's own fingers rose and laid over his. Her lips parted beneath his, and accepted him deeper. Their tongues met in a sweet dance.

The kiss was broken, and Auron sat up. He gazed down at her. Lulu stared up at him, half-shocked, and half-blissful.

"Why?" She asked softly.

"Why not?"

"Kiss me again." Lulu commanded in a husky tone.

Again, Auron lowered himself. This time, when his lips met hers, they were not so gentle, and more hungry. He nipped at her lower lip, and sucked on the tip of her tongue. He explored the confines of her mouth, and reveled in the sweetness. His fingertips traced down her jaw, and her neck, and over her shoulder. He felt her skin go to gooseflesh, and felt the shiver that went down her spine.

Auron shuddered in sudden, painful desire.

He broke the kiss, and gazed down at her. Yevon, how he wanted her. He wanted her so much that it hurt. A sweat had broken out on his brow, and he was embarassed to have to stand up. He knew his desire would show. Auron wished he was still wearing his coat, to cover up the bulge in his trousers.

"I cannot..."

"Obviously not." Lulu said. "Unless you want to undo all of Yuna's healings."

A faint grin went over Auron's face.

"You're still mourning Chappu's loss. I will not take advantage of you."

Lulu's hand came to rest over Auron's fingers. He folded her tiny digits into his, and rubbed a thumb over her knuckle.

"Chappu...is gone. He is gone forever. I remain..alive." Lulu's eyes focused on a faraway point for a moment, and then went once more to Auron's face. "You say you will not take advantage of me. Do I have no say in things?"

Again, a faint smile crossed Auron's face.

"Of course, you do."

"Why do you never take these glasses off?" She asked. Her free hand went up, and her first two fingers slipped beneath the dark glass.

Auron stiffened in instinct. He had the urge to slap away her hand, but he forced himself to sit, and endure, and to see where she was leading.

Gently, she pulled the glasses from his face. Her thumb went over the scar, ever so delicately. She felt the mottled flesh, traced it from his forehead, down over his cheek.

Auron shivered beneath the delicacy of her touch.

Her forefinger traced once more over his eyelid. She felt the emptiness of the socket underneath. Of course, he would not have been able to keep his eye. Whatever weapon had struck him here, it must have split the surface of the eye in two. If it had not been removed, it would have rotted, and poisoned the tissue around it.

"It's gruesome." Auron replied.

"I do not think so."

Her hands left his face, and she carefully put his sunglasses back on his face.

Auron gazed down at her. He could have kissed her for her tenderness. Indeed, he did.

His thumb brushed over her lips, when he was done claiming them.

"Go to sleep." He commanded. "I need you at full-strength."

"You, or we?" She asked.

Auron turned his cheek, and smiled gently at her.

"Sleep."

With that, he stood up, and carefully tucked the blanket around her bare shoulders. Auron retreated to his chair, and leaned back in it, eyes wandering between Lulu, and the window with the snow falling outside.

As for Lulu, she nestled beneath the covers as best she could, and let sleep carry her off.

And for the first time in as many days, she did not have nightmares of Chappu.


	5. So Cold

Somewhere in Macalania, Wakka awoke.

One eye cracked open, just as the sun's rays started to creep over the horizon. Far away, in the distance, the light was glaring off of the icy walls of Macalania's temple. The resultant glare was almost as bright as looking into the sun itself.

It was sheer agony to wake up, to relinquish the hold sleep had over him. His body ached. His eyes burned. His skin felt greasy, and his mouth tasted like ass.

Wakka rolled over, and looked around the room.

Tidus lay sprawled in his bed, with his face turned to the ceiling, and his mouth open in a perpetual snore. The early morning sunlight painted patches of yellow on the walls. Wakka could hear the occupants of the Inn stirring.

'Dear Yevon. If I ever drink again, it'll be too soon...'

As if to punctuate his thoughts, when Wakka rolled off his own bed, he narrowly avoided crushing a wine bottle beneath his bare feet. Instead, he hopped over it, and immediately regretted doing so.

His stomach roiled, and Wakka lurched into the bathroom.

He retched so hard he felt sure that he had vomited up one of his blitzballs.

From the bedroom came the sound of grunting, and yawning. Tidus had not drank the night before. The only doing the heavy drinking the night before had been Wakka. Tidus had acted as a sort of buffer zone to ensure that Wakka did not storm out of the room, and into Lulu's room, where a fight was sure to begin.

Now Wakka lay prone, with his forehead resting on the toilet seat. His brow was in a cold sweat. His stomach still churned, but he wasn't nauseous any longer.

When Sir Auron had joined the pilgrimage in Luca, Wakka had been amazed, and in awe of the man. He was an idol to live up to, a pristine example of what a guardian should be.

And now...and now Wakka hated Auron with every fiber of his being.

And all because of Lulu.

There was no way he could tell her. There was nothing he could say to her. If Auron was who she chose to be with, then she had every right to choose him. Wakka had watched her wither after Chappu's death, and all he really wanted in the world was for Lulu to be happy again. He wanted her to smile, and to wear colour again. He wanted her to hum as she did her daily things, and to smile at the little trivialities of life, instead of grow impatient, and eventually, angry.

He'd just...always thought that it would be himself to bring that to Lulu.

Wakka's eyes began stinging, and he felt a couple of hot tears slip from his eyes, down the tip of his nose, and fall onto the floor.

He shouldn't cry. Sir Auron probably didn't cry. Especially over a woman.

Wakka couldn't help it.

Eventually, from the bedroom came the sounds of Tidus stirring and getting out of bed. Wakka wiped his face, and flushed the toilet. Before the young blond could come into the bathroom and question him, Wakka banged the door shut.

Ya, a hot shower is just what I need, he thought. Just what I need.

The Waterga spell hit Lulu like a tsunami. The force of the water hitting her hyperextended her back; she felt her wound stretch, and the cauterized skin beneath the bandage tear. Sudden warmth told her that she was once more bledding.

And then Seymour hit Wakka with Waterga as well, since Wakka had dashed forward and thrown himself in front of her.

'Damned fool.' She thought with a shade of concern. 'He's going to get himself killed. He doesn't have the kind of magical defenses I do.'

"Enough of this!" Auron yelled.

Their party was decimated. From Rin's agency, they'd made the trip across the frozen lake to Macalania temple. The day had been eventful. The Al Bhed had confronted the group first. And after that, a nosy snoop of a priestess had discovered Maester Jyscal's sphere amongst Yuna's things. And now, Lulu reflected, we are doing the unthinkable. We are actually battling a maester.

She wondered in the back of her mind how Wakka was taking this, just as she raised her arms in salute to Seymour. All in one day, he had found out that one of his fellow guardians was a hated Al Bhed, and now he was defying Yevon and battling a maester.

Just as Auron was dashing forward to unleash his Shooting Star attack, Lulu gathered her energy about her, and cast a round of Firaga on Seymour.

She bent, and sent the spell hurtling at him, and as she bent, she could see her Cait Sith doing the same.

'Thank Yevon Anima is out of the way.' She thought. 'Thank Yevon.'

Lulu cried out then, wrapping her arm around her waist. Her wound was hurting horribly. Hot, scary pain, throbbing. She remained bent over, knees braced against each other weakly, her arm around her waist.

The others had strength, thank Yevon. Auron and Wakka were pounding Seymour into a bloody pulp. Kimahri was casting support magic; Auron and Wakka's courage and resolve seemed to climb by the second. Tidus and Yuna were attending to Rikku, who had been knocked out.

Lulu let her head droop. Her braids brushed the floor.

And just as quickly, her head snapped up. Seymour was screaming. Lulu had just enough time to see Auron drive his Murasame through Seymour's stomach.

Just like that. He was dead. Wakka retreated as Seymour slid off the end of Auron's sword. Seymour fell to the ground with a wet thud.

"Lu?" He turned, looking for her, and seeing her, he dashed to where she remained bent.

Wakka's strong arms slid around her, and propped her up against him.

"You would pity me, even now, Lady Yuna?" Seymour asked, his dying voice echoing in the vestibule of the Fayth.

Lulu and Wakka looked up, as Yuna stepped towards Seymour, as Auron backed away with sword dripping blood.

"He dies." Lulu whispered.

"We're in deep shit, ya?" Wakka confirmed.

The sound of feet hitting ice and stone behind them, in the Cloister of Trials made Lulu turn her head to look.

"Yuna, we have no time. We must leave." She said.

"I must send him!"

Yuna raised her wand, and began to dance the sending, but it was too late.

A herd of Guado, and temple officials stormed the vestibule.

"Lord Seymour!" Tromell cried.

"We had to! He attacked us!" Tidus piped up.

Shut up, shut up! Lulu thought. Tidus's big mouth was going to get them all killed.

"You did this!" Tromell gasped. "Traitors!"

And there was barely a moment after that word before the Guado attacked.

'Not again, please.' Lulu thought with dismay. She could have cried, her side was hurting her so bad. She sagged against Wakka

"I'll keep you safe, Lu. Just lean against me." Awkwardly, he tried to shift her weight, and ready his blitzball.

"Let me go." She commanded. She could cast her magic just as well from the floor as she could standing.

Reluctantly, Wakka did so, but Lulu was not blind to the way he stood just in front of her and to the left.

Tears stung her eyes in sudden tenderness, but she shook her head, and readied a Bio spell.

The battle was over.

Lulu did not remember it.

She did not remember anything.

But somehow, she knew the battle was done.

Vaguely, she felt strong hands snatch her up.

She felt her arms around someone's neck.

She felt hands under her knees.

She felt the jouncing as she rode piggyback on someone as they ran.

She heard yelling behind her.

She felt cold.

She understood, somehow, that their party was fleeing Macalania.

And she felt a sudden shaking of the earth.

And then unbelievable weightlessness.

Eh, what was it? What was happening? It was so cold, all around her. So terribly cold, in her hair, and down her back.

Stinging pain in her cheeks. She raised her arms in the salute of a Demi spell.

Rough hands restrained her wrist. Kept her from completing her spell.

"...lu...ke u..."

Go away! Let me be! I hurt, I can't...

"...lu...ammit...ow!"

No!

Again, her cheek burned, and a bright light invaded her darkness. The flash of two different shades of red near blinded her, and she forced her eyes shut once more.

She didn't want to be lucid.

A hand came down slapping down on her cheek, and yanked her into reality.

She came into the world screaming.

"STOP IT!"

There was the outrush of relieved breaths, and masculine laughter.

"You stay with her. I'll go find the others."

"Ya."

Warmth came around Lulu, and she knew that it was Wakka's arms, and his coat.

Fool, she thought. He must be freezing.

Dimly, Lulu fought to open her eyes.

"Take it easy, Lu. Don't try to do too much at once. You're hurt real bad, ya?"

"Where's Yuna?"

"Yuna's okay. Kimahri broke a leg in the fall. She's setting the bone and healing it now."

"The fall."

"Ya."

Wakka shifted, so that he was sitting, and dragged Lulu into his lap. They weren't sitting in the wet now. But her eyes still weren't working properly. She curled into Wakka's chest, and he cradled her, tucking his down coat in around her.

"Ya, we fell through the ice at the lake of Macalania. Who would have thought, the water was all gone? It's just a few inchs at the bottom. And there's ruins too, but man...when we were doing battle on the ice above...the whole thing was hollow!"

"Shut up." Lulu whispered. His rambling was making her head hurt. She leaned her icy brow against his chest, and reveled in the warmth.

"I was real worried about you." Wakka whispered back to her.

Lulu sighed. He wasn't going to shut up. He was just going to talk softer. She supposed she could deal with that.

"I'm okay." She replied, her voice cracking. She was getting chilled.

Wakka's lips brushed her forehead, and rested against her cheek.

"You ain't made a' steel, Lu. I know you think it sometimes, but you're not."

Lulu had no response for that. She only nestled closer to him. Wakka...her rock. He was always there.

"Why you make me worry about you like you do?"

"I don't make you worry. You choose to."

"Silly woman. 'Course you do."

"How?" She closed her eyes and had to restrain a yawn. She was so cold. She was so tired.

Wakka surprised her by slapping her cheek. Lulu came away instantly.

"How dare you!" She cried.

"You make me worry, doing stuff like dat. You know you can't sleep right now. You know if you do, you'll die from the cold."

Tears suddenly stung Lulu's eyes, and overflowed down her cheeks. She was so tired. She knew she was getting petulant. She knew she was becoming cranky and irrational.

Wakka folded her closer to him, and stroked her hair.

"Shh. Just lay here. But don't go to sleep."

For a long moment, she just remained there, cuddled in his lap, cheek against Wakka's chest, and listening to his heartbeat. Eventually, her tears stopped. Wakka rocked her back and forth.

"You've got to be freezing." Lulu said to him at length.

"I'm okay. I'm used to the cold from the blitz spheres. 'Dis is nothing."

We're going to die down here, Lulu suddenly thought. How far is it to the ice above? How cold will it get at night? Yevon's not going to send anyone to rescue the traitors.

Speaking of...

"Why are you so calm?" Lulu asked Wakka.

"I dunno." He tilted his head, eyes focusing on a piece of machina laying ruined in the water. "I can't explain it. I just dunno. Sir Auron says that we're going to continue on the pilgrimage."

Lulu remained silent. She could think of nothing to say. She couldn't think of why Wakka would be calm either, but he was. Thank Yevon for small blessings.

Wakka continued.

"Sir Auron said dat it's not the temples and the hierophants who give Yuna the Aeons, it's the Fayth. He says dat Yuna's going to complete her pilgrimage, even if we have to storm every temple so that she can do it."

"Are you ready for that?" Lulu asked, softly.

Wakka did not reply. His lips pressed together as if he wanted to say something, but didn't want to. Instead, he hugged her closer to him.

"I was worried about you." He told her again.

"I know." She replied.

Again, it seemed as if Wakka wanted to say more, but he only pressed his lips together again, and held his silence.

For the longest time, they sat there, huddled together. They could hear, echoing in the massive emptiness around them, Tidus and Rikku screeching back and forth. They heard Kimahri's quiet rumbling, and then Tidus's laughter. The ankle-deep water lapped gently at the ruins of the machina city all around them. The haze of fog swirled through the marble and steel. Eventually, Lulu saw that Wakka had drawn them up on a ruined wall that jutted up out of the water. He leaned back against another ruined wall that joined it's brother.

She was so tired. Lulu leaned her head against Wakka's shoulder once more. Her little view around them had sapped more strength from her than she thought possible. But she did not sleep.

In silence, they sat. Wakka shifted his legs once more twice, and arranged Lulu's skirt so that her legs were completely covered from the cold. He slipped the hood on his coat up, over her hair and hairpins, and she was grateful for the warmth of the cocoon.

Wakka's lips came down, and he left a big, sloppy kiss on her cheek.

Lulu was not shocked; he had done this before. And she did just what she had always done before.

Her own lips came up, and she kissed the tip of his chin.

Eventually, the others came and joined them. They all sat on the machina ruin, and Yuna conjured a Firaga spell to keep them warm. They spoke little, and had a cheerless dinner in the cold.

The waiting game began.


	6. Hollow

This infinite, ever-damned waiting. Contrary to the tales that would be told later, the group lingered beneath the ice for three days. It was not because they did not want to come out. It was miserably cold beneath the ice. The dampness of the air was giving everyone the sniffles.

It was simply that they could find no way out.

Lake Macalania had been fed from one of the many great oceans in Spira. Back in the old days, the warm sea water flowed in, and there had been a great deal of "hot spring" business in Macalania. But during one of Sin's attacks, the topography of the Macalania area had changed, and then entire area stayed perpetually frozen. The lake iced over and stayed that way. No one ever noticed the water draining beneath the ice. No one ever cared to crack the ice, to see if the lake level had stayed the same.

Until Yuna and her guardians had fallen through.

They'd been okay, those three days. They had enough dried rations in their packs to last for several weeks each. The water all around them was fresh water, since Spira's great seas were not salt water. The greatest danger to the group was exposure, and even that had been taken care of.

There were ruins of a machina city beneath the ice. That first night, the group had slept around a roaring Fira spell. The second night, they all retreated into the largest ruin they could find. The water had frozen into ice here, which eventually melted with the heat of a fire, and evaporated thereafter. The interior of the ruin stayed toasty warm, and that was where Lulu was sequestered.

Despite Wakka's best efforts that night, Lulu took a chill, which swiftly developed into a fever. The others had no fear of contamination; Yuna opened up Lulu's bandage, and saw that her wound was beginning to fester. This was the cause of her fever.

"I have killed the infection, with a Cura spell. But she needs rest, and she needs warmth." Yuna said to Auron, some time later.

"Then warmth she shall have."

Auron had nodded. He went to stand guard, at the entrance to the ruin. Wakka sat near Lulu, in case she should want anything. All the others gathered together at the opposite side of the ruin, so that there was silence where Wakka and Lulu lay.

Wakka passed the time in undoing Lulu's long braids, and brushing out the hair, and rebraiding it for her. He knew that it was silly, what he did.

But he also knew that although Yuna had said she would be fine, Wakka was still scared for Lulu's life. He could do nothing else to help her. It calmed him to take care of her in some small way. No matter if his large fingers were clumsy with her delicate tresses sometimes. No matter if what he was doing seemed "girly." She knew it would make her feel good to wake up with groomed hair. He loved her. So he did it for her.

At the entrance to the ruin, Auron sat on his perch, hands leaning on the pommel of his sword. He sat, scanning the darkness at the outer reaches of the cavern.

Earlier in the day, he and Kimahri, and Tidus had scouted around. They knew every mottle and bulge in the rock walls like they knew their own hometowns. There was no exit. They only hope they could see was a cavern two-hundred feet up a sheer rock face. Tomorrow, Auron planned on taking Kimahri with him, and trying to find some way to perhaps anchor a rope to that cavern's wall.

Although Wakka would have been an obvious choice. His range of throwing was incredible. Surely, they could take one of Kimahri's grappling hooks and simply toss the damned thing up, right?

Auron turned his head, so that he could watch Wakka from the corner of his eye.

He watched jealously as Wakka undid one of Lulu's thick braids, and began to comb out the black hair. Lulu slept deeply with her head resting in Wakka's lap. She did not seem to notice the tugging at her scalp. Or if she did, it made her fever-dreams sweeter.

The thing was, that Auron was loathe to ask for Wakka's help. Before he'd always found the way that Wakka took care of Lulu touching. Now he hated it. He disliked Wakka because Wakka put his hands all over the woman that Auron coveted. And he disliked Wakka because Lulu seemed to, in a way, return that affection.

Auron's teeth gritted, and he tried to look away, though he did not turn his head so that he could not see.

'I should be ministering to Lulu's needs right now. Not him.' Auron snarled inwardly.

What a funny thing. He would have been content to sit and merely guard Lulu, had Wakka not been touching her.

'The oaf's not smart enough for her. He needs a mother, not her.' Auron thought, as he watched Wakka bumble a braid, and then start all over again.

Not that Auron could braid any better.

Sullen, Auron turned away, so that he could not watch, and stared off into the darkness.

He sat in silence. And just when it seemed he could have some peace of mind, he heard footsteps coming at him.

"Hey, Old Guy!"

Auron's teeth clenched. He had the strongest urge to swing his sword, and decapitate Tidus.

'Why, oh, why did your son have to be such a wanker, Jecht?' He wondered to himself. 'Must have come from the mother's side of the family...'

"What?" Auron asked Tidus, tone clearly weary.

"How're we going to get out of here?"

Auron turned to look at Tidus as if to say, 'Were you born a pain in the ass, or did you just grow up that way?'

"If you wish to escape.." Auron stated, teeth grinding, in measured tones. "Why not help us think of a way to get out of here?"

"Well, I can't think of anything." Tidus whined. "I want to help!"

Auron had a mental picture of Kimahri tying a rope around Tidus, and then tossing him up the rock face to the cavern.

"I'm sure a way will present itself." Auron looked away from him, hand going to his sake jug.

"Whatever..." Tidus looked at his shoes, and splashed in the water a bit.

He slogged off, as Auron tipped back the jug, and gulped sake.

Truly...would it be so bad if Tidus dissapeared? He wondered.

Yes, it would. Jecht had insisted that Auron bring Tidus here to kill him. No one else could do it.

Auron drank.

The faintest murmuring sound came to Auron after a while. His head was pleasently buzzed from the sake. He hefted the jug, and found, to his dissapointment, that it was nearly empty.

Auron crossed his arms, and looked back into the ruins. He searched for the source of the murmuring sound.

Rikku and Yuna were sound asleep. Tidus lay propped against the wall of the ruin, staring off into space. Kimahri sat not too far away, inscrutable, guarding, watching, just as Auron was doing.

With an inward groan, Auron's head turned to look at Wakka and Lulu.

And he almost started when he saw Lulu's eyes open.

Her face was ever so pale. It was so much whiter than it had ever been, and the sight of it make Auron anxious. But her eyes were not glazed. They looked clear, and somewhat alert.

Auron sat up straighter.

Lulu lay, staring at the ceiling of the ruin. Wakka was reading to her from one of her spellbooks. His voice was low, and soft. As he read to her, Lulu's hands lay clasped on her chest. Auron saw her fingers move from time to time, as if she were drawing a diagram in the air. Perhaps, practicing the motions for the proper salute to the spell.

'She doesn't ask for me. She doesn't turn to me to take care of her. She turns to Wakka.' Auron thought to himself. Sourly, he turned his head away again, so that he could not watch.

Of course, he was a fool. He shouldn't have left her with Wakka. He should have stayed with her all along. Then her head would have been resting in HIS lap as she slept. He would have been reading to her.

'I am a fool.' He thought again. 'A complete and utter fool.'

Once more, he tipped back the jug, and forced his mind from his troubles.

The fever left Lulu, as quickly as it had fallen on her. By the morning of the third day, she was up and moving around, albeit, resting quite often. It had taken the strength out of her, but Wakka had read from her spellbooks to her while she lay ill, and in that time, she had learned to emulate Yuna's Cura spell.

That day, Auron grudgingly came to Wakka, and asked his help in trying to reach the cavern up the rock face. His only consolation in asking Wakka, was that he would be away from Lulu. Wakka agreed. He was worried that Lulu would catch cold again, and this time, she would be so ill that she could not recover. Wakka trekked out to the rock face with Kimahri and Auron, and the three prepared for their attempt at escape.

Back at the ruin, Yuna sat checking Lulu over. Rikku and Tidus were exploring. As per usual, they were much like blisters; they didn't show up until the work was done.

Omni-present under the lake, was the Hymn of the Fayth. Receding, and becoming softer, or rising up in volume, the Hymn of the Fayth played constantly. But it did not grate on the nerves as any other song would, after being played for three solid days straight. The notes were soft and haunting enough to fade into the background after a while. It was as much a part of the ambience as was the fog from the cold, and the pale light from the sun shining through the ice.

But EVERYONE noticed when the Hymn stopped. Everyone noticed the sudden silence. Where Auron, Wakka, and Kimahri worked, trying to scale the wall of rock, they paused, and looked up in alarm. Rikku and Tidus came skidding around the edge of the ruin, eyes wide. Yuna stood suddenly, gasping in fright, staff in hand.

Lulu raised herself up, swaying, braids clinking togeter gently from the beads in her hair.

"What's wrong!" Tidus demanded. "Why'd the Hymn stop?"

"Sin..." Yuna breathed.

Suddenly, the ground began to shake. The violence of the quake pitched everyone to their knees. A loud rumbling noise began, and got only louder.

One of the lake walls began to crumble; Seawater rushed in. People screamed as the currents slammed them against the ruins, and swept them around.

And where the seawater had broken through the rock wall, Sin jutted his ugly head into the hollow beneath the ice.

"The toxin!" Lulu screamed. "Look out!"

She did not know that anyone heard her. She did not know that anyone else was alive.

There was blackness, as everything was sucked into Sin.


	7. Lulu

The gentle lapping of the ocean brought Wakka to conciousness.

'Oh, that sounds good...' He thought woozily. How he had always loved the sound of the seaside at Besaid. How he loved laying in the sand, and letting the tide wash up and sweep over his legs. He loved the sun's rays baking his already-dusky skin. He loved the sound of Lulu's laughter as she sat further back in the dunes with a book, sheltered by a huge umbrella.

A groan came from Wakka's throat as he became aware of the sun beating down on him. The light stung through his eyelids, and when he opened his eyes, he had to squint, and shield them from the bright tropical day.

'Where the hell am I?' He thought. The last thing he remembered was Sin poking it's ugly head into the hollow beneath Lake Macalania, and the huge tide of freezing seawater sweeping in. He remembered Lulu screaming in warning.

Wakka forced his eyes to stay open, though they were tearing awfully in the bright sunshine. The sky above was so blue.

Gingerly, he tested an arm and a leg to see just how banged up he was. And to his surprise, there came no pain, no stiff joints and muscles as he'd expected. He felt fine as a matter of fact. As if he'd been doing nothing more than snoozing in the sun on the beach at Besaid.

Wakka sat up, lowering his arms away from his eyes, and took a look around. This place...it could have been Besaid, for all it's tropical splendor!

He sat on a white-sand beach, facing the ocean. The water was blindingly blue, and he found he could see to a great depth into the ocean, as clear as the water was. With every ripple, the white sand on the ocean floor glittered, as if the sun was casting down through a prism. Palm trees swayed lazily in a light breeze, and behind him, lay more palm trees, and soft grasses. It looked like the forest of Besaid.

Confused, Wakka sat a little longer, and looked around at his surroundings.

When a strong breeze came through, Wakka realized he was no longer in his Aurochs uniform. He did not wear his blue bandanna, and in fact, the only thing he was clad in was a pair of green shorts that he often wore when swimming for leisure. Other than that, the only thing on his body was his fish necklace.

"What the hell...?" He said aloud.

The only answer was the soft lapping of the sea at his feet, nibbling at his toes and the sand around them.

Wakka pushed himself to his feet, and looked around in bewilderment. There were no recognizeable structures or landmarks around. If this were Besaid, the beachline would be dotted with cliffs, and city ruins jutting from beneath the waterline. The horizon would contain a neighbouring island or two, but it held nothing.

His bare feet sank in the soft sand as he padded down the shoreline a little ways. Nothing was any different. The same pristine sand. The same jewel-toned water.

"Huh." He said to himself. He stopped and crossed his arms. This was really baking his noodle. Where the heck was he? What had happened? Had Sin dumped him on some remote island?

But then...what'd happened to his clothing? Surely Sin hadn't literally knocked the pants off of him?

Another soft breeze blew, and Wakka found himself inhaling it, savoring the saltiness of the air.

Again, the wind blew gently, but this time, it carried on it a scent that Wakka had smelt before. There was a lilt of red orchid, and white hyacinth.

Wakka turned his head, to glance over his shoulder. And he did a double take. Turned to greet the vision walking towards him.

If he had stepped back in time, if he had opened a portal to the happier years in his life, Wakka could not have been more surprised.

Lulu walked towards Wakka, the sun caressing her alabaster skin, her long black hair spilling over her shoulders and swinging free from it's braids.

He swallowed. Hard. She was so beautiful.

She wasn't in grey and black anymore. She didn't wear her leather dress. She didn't wear dark make-up. She didn't wear much of anything, to be honest.

Back in the old days, before Chappu had left for Djose with the Crusaders, he, and Lulu, and Wakka used to come down the beach in the hot afternoons to laze around in the sun, and to swim. In those days, Lulu was happy. She was radiant, Wakka had always thought. She had a habit of undoing her braids, and letting the hair fall over her shoulders, and over her breasts. Of course, she'd worn bikini bottoms so that she wouldn't be indecent, but since Besaid was a tiny island, and since nudity wasn't taboo, her hair was usually the only thing covering up her breasts.

Wakka had, understandably, spent alot of time in the water.

And this was the vision approaching him now. Her hips swayed as she walked, the red bikini bottom hugging her hips as snuggly as Wakka would have liked to. Her black hair swayed, the long curls hiding from Wakka's view those rosy nipples. A huge white flower was tucked behind her ear, holding the hair out of her face, and a chain of tiny red flowers hung around her neck.

Wakka had to remind himself to breath.

As she approached him, she smiled.

"You look as if you've seen a ghost." Lulu said as she neared him.

Yevon, was she real? What had happened to her? Her cheeks were so rosy. She looked so radiant...so...happy.

"Not speaking to me?" She teased him.

"Uh..." Wakka closed his mouth, then opened it to speak once more. He found that he could find no words.

Lulu's eyebrow arched up, and she tilted her head to look at him.

"Lu, you're so pretty!" He blurted.

"Thank you." She smiled at him, amused. "You act as if you've never seen me before.."

"It's just been so long since I've seen you like this.." He said.

"Come on." Lulu said, slipping her hand in his. She twined her fingers through his fingers, and smiled up at him. "You promised me that you'd take me on a walk. I intend that you keep that promise."

"Huh?" Wakka gaped. What the hell? "Uh, okay..."

Before she could change her mind, before he could ruin the moment, Wakka's hand closed tight over her. He squeezed her hand, and pulled her to him. His arms closed around her, hands sliding up her bare back. Her hair tickled his chest. He buried his face in her neck where it met her shoulder.

Lulu was surprised at this, but after a second, her arms came up, and around his chest.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

"Ya." He murmured, inhaling the sweet, earthy scent of her skin and hair. "Ya, I'm fine."

"Are you certain?" Her hands stroked at his back. Her arms held him tight.

"I love you, Lu." He could not help it. He had to say it.

"I know, Wakka." She whispered to him. Drawing back, she looked up into his face. Her ruby eyes glittered at him tenderly. "I know. And I love you too."

Wakka's lips descended on hers hungrily. He kissed her there, before the ocean, in the soft sea breeze, underneath the beating sun. He kissed her in this paradise, with all the beauty of Besaid around them. Kissed her, lips and tongue exploring hers, and seeking to taste her very essence. Kissed her happily, and tenderly, and roughly, and gently, with all of Yevon looking on, and in the privacy of this secluded beach. Kissed her, as if he could meld his soul to hers in that one gesture.

And when his lips left hers, he wrapped her in his arms. He held her close to him, his body shivering in joy. He held her, and she held him, and Wakka thought he would die with his happiness.

Auron fully expected to be dead. Well, he already was...Actually, he expected to be in the Farplane.

'Dammit...' He thought. 'I had things to do. I can't be here yet.'

But it wasn't the Farplane. Something told him that it wasn't.

You're asleep. That little voice whispered to him.

What? Asleep, after Sin attacking? You mean, dead.

No. Just asleep. All you have to do is wake up.

Huh? For once, Auron sounded like Tidus.

Asleep, stupid. Just open your dead eyes, and look around.

So, Auron opened his eyes.

There was darkness all around him. But it wasn't black darkness.

There you go, that little voice continued. It's just night. Go, look around.

Frowning in confusion, Auron found he was propped in a chair. It wasn't a bad chair.

Actually, it was very nice, being padded in velvet and all...

Another frown. Auron shook his head. What in the hell was going on?

He stood. Another surprise for him there. After Sin breaking through and the currents sweeping everyone away, he expected to be sore in a thousand places. He expected bones to be broken, joints to be sprained, muscles to be torn.

Nothing. He felt as fit as the day he'd become a guardian.

A cool night breeze swept through the dark room. The sensation of a swinging garment hung on his body, but it was so dark, he could not see what he was wearing. Auron turned around to try to survey his surroundings, and nearly screamed as he did so.

Obviously, a mirror hung on a wall across the room. He'd sighted his reflection as he turned, and since it was unexpected, he had very nearly soiled himself.

"Son of a...shit..." Auron's dead heart had leaped in his chest. The words came from him as he stood there, and tried to calm the damned thing before it exploded in his ribcage.

Suddenly, there the click of a latch, and a door swung open. Light spilled into the room. Auron swung around to face the offending party.

"Sir?" A young woman peered in. Her blue dress was plain, and the only adornment was a white apron. A servant?

At his continued silence, the young woman spoke up again.

"Sir? Sir Auron? Why are you in here in the dark?" She asked. Her arm reached out, and she flicked on a light switch. Several small lamps around the room instantly brightened.

Auron looked around, blinking. He stood in a bedroom. The mirror that had scared the hell out of him hung by a fireplace, the pale light of the room caressing over the gilt frame. Confused, Auron turned and questioned the young woman.

"What's going on here?"

She looked at him strangely, as if he were doing something most out of character, extremely bizarre.

"Sir? I don't understand. Anyway...you should come downstairs. Everyone's waiting."

"Huh?"

But there was no answer forthcoming. The young woman backed out of the room, and closed the door behind her.

With a sigh, Auron looked once more around the room.

Then did a double take in the mirror.

Hesitant for the one of the very few times in his life, he approached the mirror. The red garment on his body flowed behind him. The long sleeves swirled as he stepped.

Auron stood and gaped into the mirror.

A maester's robes?

'I am a maester?' He wondered to himself.

This was insane! How many times had he wished during his youth...? How much had he yearned...?

The sound of the door opening again distracted him. He looked in the mirror to the door, expecting to see the young serving woman again.

But the sight that greeted him shocked him nearly as much as the maester's robes on his body did.

Splendid in a crimson gown, Lulu stood in the doorway, and smiled at him. Her long braids had been undone, and the curly hair cascaded down her back. The front part of her hair, including those bangs that hid her face was pulled up, and back, and caught up in an elegant, formal hairstyle, and secured with bejeweled pins.

And the biggest shock of all was the swollen belly that she curled protective arms around.

"What is the matter?" Her husky voice rang out. "You look as if you've seen a ghost."

"Lulu...what happened?" Auron did not know which he was asking about...her belly suddenly big with child, or the maester's robes he wore.

Lulu tilted her head, a lock of ebony hair falling over her shoulder.

"Are you well, my love?" She stepped into the room, and closed the door behind her. The red silk of her gown trailed behind her on the floor as she walked, and she crossed the room to stand before him.

"This..." Auron lay hesitant fingers on her belly. "And this..." Those fingers went to the red sleeve of his robes.

A low, sensual chuckle came from Lulu.

"Did you hit your head?" She asked, her brow furrowing in amusement. She played along.

Auron simply stared at her.

"These are maester's robes." Lulu's hand went to his sleeve, and plucked at the red linen. And then she captured his hand, and laid it on her belly. "And this is your child."

Auron jumped as if he'd been hit by lightening. He snatched his hand back like her stomach was red-hot, and gaped at her.

Maester's robes. Lulu pregnant with his child..

His throat suddenly ached. It wasn't possible. He daren't dream. But that must be what it was...

"This is a dream." He said to her.

"I know it must seem that way." Lulu laughed softly. "But your hard work had been rewarded, my love."

Her hand went to his once more, and she curled her fingers through his. Gently, she brought his hand to her cheek, and she nuzzled his knuckled against her face.

"I love you." Auron told Lulu suddenly, as he stared down at her.

She blinked. Then laughed. Her laughter was music. Her beauty was poetry. Her being was heaven. Again, Auron's throat ached.

"I know." She murmured him. "And you know I love you, as well."

Auron's thumb brushed against her lips. Lulu smiled tenderly at him. Her claret eyes held his, and he felt all thought flee from his mind.

As if in a trance, Auron leaned forward, and captured those beautiful lips beneath his. What if he wasn't dreaming? What if the pilgrimage and Sin had been the dream? What if this was what was real?

Greedily, Auron's lips moved over Lulu's, and his hand left her face. He curled his arm around her, and placing his hand on the small of her back, he pressed her close to him.

His other arm came over her shoulders. He pulled Lulu close as if he would die if she wasn't near to him.

Mine, his mind swirled. Mine. My child. My wife. My maester's robes...

The things I've always wanted. The things I've never had. The things I'll never have.

Auron inhaled the scent of Lulu. He smelt the smell of clean linens in the room, of vases of white hyacinth, of the night breeze outside. He tasted the sweetness of Lulu's mouth, like a fine wine, like a delectable fruit, like the finest delicacy. He felt her arms around him, offering him comfort and love, and tendernes which was genuine, and so rarely presented to him in reality.

Or was this reality?

His heart fluttered in elation.


	8. Too Good To Be True

"You're dead."

The smile which graced Chappu's face, fell. It was replaced by a stern look. A hard set of the eyes.

Yevon, he looked so much like Tidus that it nearly scared her.

"But I'm alive! The reports of my death were false!"

"I severely doubt that." Lulu's face was cold. Her eyes glittered like garnets, hard red gems. Her lips were pursed until the line of her mouth was simply a slash.

Like the others, she too, had been sucked into Sin. The great, pulsating mass had swept the area with seawater, and then pulled the whole of it inwards. And like the others, she too, had blacked out. When she came to, she had been laying on the beach at Besaid. The sun shone down on her, and made her eyes tear up. It caressed her skin, and warmed her. The sea breeze floated in. The white sand beneath her was a pleasent heat against her skin. The sea glittered just as she remembered it.

She was naked, unarmed. To her amazement, she was no longer wounded. The great bandage no longer covered her side. She was no longer aching from her illness.

And that was what told her that this wonderous illusion was not all it seemed. Then Chappu came, with his blinding red hair, and his wonderfully blue eyes.

"Lulu, sweetie, don't be like this. I'm here. I'm alive!"

"No. You're not here. You're dead."

"Lulu!"

Lulu folded her arms, and stared at the illusion in growing anger.

"I saw your body. Sin cracked your head in two pieces like a melon. Your body was crushed. I watched you go into the grave." She spat at his feet. "You are not real."

The arms that had been held out to Lulu dropped. The stern look became a glare. Chappu's eyes burned on her; turning as red as hers in fury.

This sight raised a bell of warning within Lulu's belly. She took two steps backwards, her toes sinking in the soft sand.

"You were not as easy to fool as the others."

Lulu drew in an audible breath.

Chappu's voice had become deeper, changed. More menacing. Obviously.

"I would have given you everything you wanted."

"And you would have taken my life. My soul!" Lulu held her ground. She did not allow the expression on her face to change, forcing her lips to remain in the frown, forcing her eyes to stay on his and not look away.

'Chappu' did not seem to like this.

"Is it such a great price? Spira is a vortex of death..."

"That will change."

"No, it will not. You only know the half of it, Lulu..."

'Chappu's' eyes began to melt. The white flowed down the curve of his cheeks, which began to melt downward in a river of flesh. The skin of his hands, his chest, his shoulders liquified and dripped towards the sand.

As he reached out to grasp her shoulders, with bones showing through the melted flesh, clouds began to gather in the sky. In less than a few seconds, black stormclouds blotted out the sun, the blue sky, and the sea began to churn.

Lightening struck down, cracking the trunks of trees. Rain and half began sheeting down, and the wind tore up the roots of plants and trees.

Lulu screamed.

She backed away furiously, but not nearly fast enough. 'Chappu's' hands closed on her shoulders, and she screamed in terror as the skin dripped from his face, and only a animated, grinning skeleton was left.

The sky got darker, as if night suddenly rolled in behind the black clouds. Blackness closed around, and she could only see the flashes of a screaming, white skeleton grasping her during the cracks of lightening.

Lulu screamed again.

She screamed until her throat went hoarse.

Her heart pounded in her chest, and leapt into her throat. It spasmed as if it were about to explode, and blood drained from her head.

She screamed, and tried to tear free from the skeleton, but it held her in a grip of iron. The sharp fingerbones, where they gripped her, slashed deep into her skin, deep into the muscle beneath.

And just when the terror reached it's peak, her heart gave out, and stopped. It lay silent and prone within her ribcage.

The world went black.

The day had been good.

When Wakka had finally been able to pull his lips away from Lulu's, he taken her hand, and they had strolled along the beach until the sun had started to dip towards the horizon. The sky painted itself red then, and the two had retreated to a sand dune to sit, and watch the setting of the sun, with hands and heart twined together.

Wakka had stepped into the very gate of the Farplane. He did not think he could be happier if he tried.

When the night fell, Lulu had taken his hand, and led him through the forest. To his amazement, there was the village of Besaid. It was just as he remembered it. The great bonfire was lit in the center plaza. The townspeople were gathered about. A huge feast had been spread, and there were oceans of ale and wine flowing.

Wakka saw Yuna and Tidus, sitting together, hands clasped. He saw Kimahri standing guard, arms crossed, as Rikku stood talking to him enthusiastically.

Auron was plunked down in the center of a group of elders. He sat, drinking sake with the old men, and regaling them with tales. Music played, and there were dancers circling the bonfire.

Lulu led him to the side of the bonfire, and they joined the dance. She was not ashamed of her nakedness, and Wakka found that he could think of no reason why she should be. She held out her arms, making small motions with her fingers. She clinked bells together with her fingers, and Wakka found he could not think of where she had gotten the bells.

He could only watch Lulu's hips swaying in the light of the fire. He could only watch her tiny feet step in and out of the steps. He watched as her long hair swung. She danced inwards towards the fire, teasing it, offering herself to it, and then stepped backwards, laughing as she refused.

Wakka was mesmerized. He stepped away from the line of dancers, and sat on the ground. He could not tear his eyes away from Lulu. She was the most beautiful, and sensual vision he had ever seen.

Lulu caught sight of him as she turned around, and she laughed. Then her smile turned smoldering, and she began to dancer towards him. The drumbeat seemed to carry her. The mournful strain of a flute seemed to be in synchronization with her swaying hips. Lulu danced to where Wakka sat, and stood over him.

She clinked those tiny bells together in time with the music. Her little feet traced designs in the dirt before him. Her eyes never let his go anywhere else except for on her.

Eventually, the flute died off. The drumbeat slowed to the slow, gentle beat, and Wakka found his own heartbeat mirrored in the pounding.

Lulu stretched a hand down to him. Wakka's went up to it before he could even think.

Gently, with feet still moving in dance steps, Lulu pulled him to his feet. She brushed the hair back over one shoulder, and her breast shone in the light of the fire. Her nipple was dark red, so very rosey, and Wakka could not tear his eyes away from that one naked breast.

Her finger went up to tip his chin upwards, forcing Wakka to look into her eyes. They smoldered at him.

Wakka opened his mouth to speak, but no sound came out. Lulu placed her finger on his lips, to hush him.

Turning away, with her hand still entwined with his, she led him to her hut. The hangings that served as a door parted, and she stepped inwards. They brushed over Wakka's skin as he stepped into her home. The inside was so fragrant with the scent of her, that Wakka's head swam.

Lulu stopped, and turned backed to look at him. They stood like that, for a while, in the darkness of her hut, broken only by the thin slashes of light from the fire outside. She stood, with her hands resting on his chest.

Wakka could not draw breath.

Slowly, Lulu stretched up to stand on her tiptoe, and laid her lips against his.

Wakka's arms suddenly went about her waist, and a growl sounded in the back of his throat. He crushed her to him; his hips ground against hers. His tongue darted into her sweet mouth, and his hand slipped up to grasp her hair.

Lulu made the sweetest, softest gasping sound. It only deepened Wakka's lust.

He backed her up to her bed, and pushed her down on it. She landed with a soft thump on the pillows, and when Wakka spied her face by the light of the fire outside, there was a smile on her lips.

He bent, and stripped off those green shorts, which were the only thing hiding his nudity, and his desire for her. They did not do such a good job at that. He nearly groaned in pain, with the strength of his desire.

A knee went down on the edge of the bed, and he leaned over her. His hardness brushed against the softness of her thighs. Wakka gasped.

Lulu's lips came up, and she nibbled on his lips. Tongue searched his mouth, and explored every fold. Damned near dying to touch her, Wakka stroked his fingertips down between her breasts. He brushed her hair away from her chest. Lips came down on the full roundness. Tongue and teeth followed. Lulu moaned, and hugged Wakka's head to her chest.

Suddenly, Wakka could not wait. He could not take this slow. He had to have Lulu naked with him, open to every touch that he wanted to lay on her body. His hands moved down to her lips, and he gently stripped the bikini bottoms from her body.

Lulu's arms wrapped around his neck, and she pulled him down on top of her. Ragged breath seeped from Wakka, who wrapped his arms around her, and rolled them so that Lulu rested on top of his body. The warm wetness between her legs brushed over Wakka. He nearly shouted his pleasure.

"Are you sure about this?" Lulu whispered to him. The tip of her warm tongue brushed his earlobe. Wakka shivered.

"Yes."

"Do you want me for the rest of your life?" Her voice came teasing, but Wakka tightened his arms around her waist, and pressed himself against her. Lulu gasped in pleasure.

"You know I do, Lu." He nibbled at her jawline. "Want you with me like this forever."

"So be it." She kissed him. "Leave Yuna behind forever."

Her words penetrated the fog in Wakka's brain. It struck him as not right. Wakka frowned. Lulu kissed him once more, but when she moved away, Wakka looked up at her, confused.

"What you mean, leave Yuna behind forever? She's right outside."

"No, she's not."

"Huh?"

"She's in Bevelle, and you're laying half-dead in the Sanubia Sands, on Bikanel Island."

Wakka gaped at her. What was this? He was laying in Lulu's bed in Besaid. But...

"You are mine." Lulu's eyes focused on him. He stared up into those crimson eyes in horror as fire began to glow in them. The dark lips parted, and her teeth were jagged, bloody, Yevon...every one of them a fang. A hand reached up, and Wakka watched, terrified, as the nails grew out to claws, talons, and she closed that hand around his throat.

With a scream, Wakka braced his hands at Lulu's shoulders, and shoved her off of him. He heared the crash of glass breaking, and knick-knacks hitting the floor. But in his panic to leave, he did not even think of that broken glass, and as he launched himself from the bed, his bare feet came down on the shards.

Wakka was barely aware that the scream which ripped through the air was coming from him. With a few swift strides, he was at the entrance of the hut.

But he would go no further.

"Burn!" A hate-filled voice behind him hissed.

And just as he turned to watch the woman that he loved become a beast, an inferno engulfed his body.

Agony ripped through him. He burned, screamed, and burned some more until there was nothing but blackness.

The coldness of Lulu's cruel laughter followed him into oblivion.

He felt his strong child kick beneath his fingers. Lulu's soft laughter tinkled through the room, and it forced a smile on Auron's face. How could the world be bad when Lulu laughed? How could he do anything other than smile, when Lulu was happy?

His child.

How he'd wanted a child. How he'd wanted these maester's robes on his back.

How he wanted Lulu.

And here she was, with a golden band on her finger, with his baby in her belly.

Auron wished he could raise up his voice to the heavens, and dance with his joy.

That little voice in the back of his head cried out in happiness with him.

See. You got all that you wanted, because you deserve it, it said.

Auron wished that voice had a face, a body, so that he could embrace that body, and look on that face and called it friend.

"Where is everyone?" Auron asked Lulu. "Where's the rest of the group? I want to see them."

"Everyone's downstairs, waiting."

"Yuna? Tidus? Wakka? Everyone?"

Lulu's eyes faded a bit, and she looked away. Auron did not fail to notice this. His fingers went to her chin, and he faced her back at him.

"What's wrong?"

"You know that Yuna isn't there."

Auron frowned.

"What? Where is she?"

Lulu's went back up to his, snapping sudden anger.

"You know she's dead, Auron." She glared at him. "This game isn't funny."

"I didn't..." He stared at her in surprise. Yuna dead? "Pretend that I don't know for a second. Humour me. How did she die?"

"In childbirth. She married Seymour, and died giving birth to his child." Lulu's voice dripped disgust. "You should know. You did her sending, after all."

"I...? But I am no summoner."

"You are a maester."

With a pained frown on her face, Lulu turned from him. She wrenched her hand away from his, and crossed the room to leave. Auron's voice halted her at the door.

"Wait. What of Yuna's pilgrimage?"

"She gave it up." Lulu looked back over her shoulder at Auron. "Tidus convinced her to stop, but she married Seymour when Tidus died."

Auron was shocked. He gaped at her.

"How did Tidus die?"

Lulu looked away from him. Her voice held dissapointment, as if she were ashamed of him, that he did not remember these things.

"He was murdered." She said softly.

There was heavy silence in the room. Lulu stood for a moment, with her head bowed.

And then she exited the room, leaving Auron frozen in shock.

Tidus...murdered? Yuna dead in childbirth?

This wasn't how it was supposed to be. They're supposed to be alive.

You know everything doesn't work out exactly how it's supposed to be, the little voice said.

But not Yuna and Tidus!

"That's the price." A deep voice rang out behind Auron.

Auron's head snapped to the side, to look behind him. He turned.

It must be my day for shocks, he thought.

Nothing had changed about the man. The wild hair, the multi-coloured pants and bare feet. The garish tattoo across his chest.

"Jecht." Auron muttered, turning to face his old friend.

"You're late, Auron."

"I'm right on time."

"Heh." Jecht snorted, as if he could beg to differ,and crossed his arms before him.

"What is all this?" Auron asked, gesturing around the room, plucking at his robe.

"It's what you always wanted. But it looks like you drove your little woman out of the room. Maybe you were asking too many questions?"

"But Tidus and Yuna aren't supposed to die."

"Shit happens. People die." Jecht's voice was flat, and hard.

Auron stared at him thoughtfully.

"This is not what the Jecht of ten years ago would have said."

"I ain't Jecht from ten years ago!" The man snapped. His voice rose several decibals.

"You want all this, you know the price!"

"Tidus and Yuna's lives? Is that all?"

Jecht did not answer. Auron's hand came up and began to unbutton the collar of the maester's robes. Jecht watched this with a hateful glint in his eyes.

"That's not all, is it?"

Jecht was silent.

Auron pondered. So long as he lived, Tidus and Yuna could not die. He would see this whole thing through to the end. He knew that. How then could they both die? Yuna, as Lulu had said, in Seymour's child-bed? Tidus from a knife in the dark?

Auron stared at Jecht in silence, thinking.

And it dawned on him.

If Auron was not there to prevent Tidus from doing so, he would pressure Yuna to quit her pilgrimage. Tidus would be murdered, and Yuna would marry Seymour, only to die later.

That was...if the things Lulu had told him were actually the events as they would happen.

And all it would take for all this to happen, was for Auron to die.

Or be taken from reality, as the case may be.

Jecht's eyes narrowed. He was able to read Auron's thoughts. This room that Auron stood in was not reality. It was inside his head.

"You figured it out." Jecht nodded towards a portait that showed Auron and Lulu, presumedly on their wedding day. "You want it? Pay the price."

"It wouldn't be her." Auron said. "Not really."

"I can make 'er as real as you want 'er."

"No." Auron yanked the maester's robes from his body.

Jecht glared at him.

"Yer gonna pay for that." He hissed. "No one denies Sin."

Clawed hands closed around Auron's throat from behind. He choked. He could not draw a breath, so tight was the grip, and the blood began to pound in his head.

From the corner of his eye, he could see Lulu's sweet face, albeit with a few changes. Her flesh was bloated, and washed out, as if she'd been floating in the water for several days, dead. The tip of her nose was chewed off. Her eyes were white with cataracts. Her tongue swelled out of her mouth, and her hair lay in tangled clumps.

Auron wanted to scream. His dead heart began to pump.

"Take a good look at 'er, Auron. That's what she's gonna look like when I'm through with her."

No! Auron's mind screamed out at him. He closed his hands around the hands at his throat, and to his horror, the flesh tore off and slid beneath his hands. He felt the brittle bones beneath snap, and he could not get a hand-hold.

Bile rose in his throat at the great stench of the rotten flesh. He began to gag.

"You ready?" Jecht asked him.

Auron's eyes snapped to him. Powerless, held by Lulu's rotting corpse behind him, he watched as Jecht drew back the wicked curved blade.

Thought I gave that sword to Tidus, Auron thought, just before the blade descended on him, and his world went to black.


	9. Sand

Chapter 9

It was all just a bad dream. It had to have been.

Auron awoke sound and whole. His head was not gone, which came as a very great relief. He could not see Lulu anywhere, rotted or otherwise. And he could not see Jecht leering at him.

In fact, he did not see much of anything. Nothing except for endless rolling sand dunes.

He groaned as he brushed himself off, and stood up. He was sore, which he was silently thankful for. It told him that the dream was simply that, a dream. But he knew exactly where he was. Or at least, Auron suspected he did. Judging by the sand, and there a huge amount of it to be sure, he was in the Sanubian desert, on Bikanel. Hopefully.

At least, Auron prayed he was. With Jecht...with Sin, anything was possible. The Fayth only knew if Jecht had deposited them in some other gods-forsaken world.

If there were others with him, somewhere.

When he'd came to, he was laying in the shadow of some huge boulders. Auron leaned against one of them now, and stripped off his gloves, and his coat. There was sand inside of them, and it was chaffing.

The emptying of his gloves served a dual purpose, however. Auron was worried about the others. Worried about Lulu. And the action of ridding the sand from his gloves and coat gave him something to do, to distract him for the moment.

At least Lulu would be better off than the others, he reasoned out. She could conjure water spells to keep from dying of thirst. She could defend herself adequately from most fiends.

But he was still worried about her. What if she had not survived Sin's attack? What if one of the more fiercesome fiends of Bikanel attacked her? What if, what if...?

Nothing to be done but to go look for her, Auron decided.

There was only one thing worse than doing something and failing, and that was doing nothing at all.

And so Auron set off across the endless sand dunes.

It did not occur to him to worry about water, or food. Honestly...he was already dead. He really didn't need such things.

Lulu did need those things, however.

And he would do his best to provide.

He covered quite a lot of ground, those first couple of hours. Randomly, a few fiends leapt out, but he disposed of them quickly, and with an ease that would have made Tidus feel ever so inadequate.

When the sun was high, Auron stopped in the shade of a large ruin, and rested for the span of a few minutes. But eventually, his rest must come to an end, and he pressed on. He scouted the area. He even climbed to the top of the ruin, and looked around as far as he could. But he saw nothing.

Sweating in the heat of the sun, he climbed down once more, and began to walk once more.

As he marched, his mind wandered. He thought about kissing Lulu. He thought about how nice she had tasted, about how fragrant her skin was. When he found her, Auron immediately decided, he would strip her down, and give her a scrubbing in some good, cold water. As heavy as her dress surely was, Lulu could not have been dealing with such a dry heat very well. Tropical Besaid was one thing. Bikanel was quite another.

And after that, Auron thought to himself...After that, he'd rub her skin, and comb out her hair, and pamper her just like he wanted to.

And Wakka be damned.

Auron was so immersed in these thoughts, that he almost missed some fleeting tracks in the sand.

There were small indentions, like the paw-marks of a dog, and they led east, over the next sand dune. Auron decided that it was as good a lead to follow as any. Besides...anything alive out here would gravitate directly to the nearest oasis, or shady spot, at the very least.

With some difficulty, he climbed the sand dune, and what he saw over the next ridge made his dead heart leap with hope.

There was a large, shallow pit made in the sand, in the shadowy overhang of a particularly large ruin. Leading away from it, was a long trail, looking as if it were made by the long sweep of a tree branch.

Or a dress train, heavy with embroidery.

Auron investigated the area, and found the tracks relatively new, and this heartened him. He picked up his pace, and followed the tracks. And at the same excruciating half-jog, he kept pushing himself, until the night fell, and until he reached an area of the desert that began to be spotted here and there with trees. Tall grasses protruded from the sand in clumps, signifying water nearby.

And as he stopped to bend and catch his breath, he heard the familar hum of an ice spell readying. His head snapped up.

"Ha!" A feminine voice called, and the sound echoed from faraway. Auron turned his head this way and that, searching for the source. Had it not been for a small flare of light from the Blizzaga spell, he would not have been able to find it.

Just over that ridge, he thought, and turned to the next dune.

And it sounded as if she needed help.

As he ran, he tossed down his coat into the sand, and pulled his Murasame from it's scabbard, put it at the ready.

As he topped the hill, he saw that it was indeed Lulu who was shouting, and casting spells. Her prey was a tiny Cactaur. He was suddenly glad he'd found her in time.

The little bastards had once laid Jecht on his ass with a 10,000 Needles spell.

Lulu spotted him, and her face seemed to light up in relief. The Cactaur turned to seek it's new quarry, and Lulu used that moment to drive a ice spear through it's shriveled little heart.

"Nice." Auron said, as the Cactaur burst into a cloud of pyreflies. He stood his sword in the sand, and leaned against it. He felt suddenly self-concious, and hid that feeling by edging his sunglasses up his nose.

Lulu sagged a little, and Auron could see that she was tired.

"I see you wear those damnable sunglasses even at night." She said, to cover up her fatigue.

"They came in handy when the sun was up."

"There's no one to hide from in the night."

Slowly, she came towards him. She seemed so very tired, Auron noted at once. Lulu walked as if she were about to fall over at any moment, and he edged closer to her just in case.

"You shouldn't burn up your energy playing tag with the desert fiends."

"I couldn't resist." She breathed as she neared him. "Cactaurs are ever so much fun."

As she came closer, Auron slipped his arm around her waist, and it seemed not a moment too soon. Lulu leaned against him.

"There's an oasis nearby." She said. What she wanted to say was, that she was bloody tired, and parched at that. But she felt bad about complaining.

"Don't worry." Auron simply told her. There was no need for her to complain. He could divine the meaning behind those words as surely as if she'd just said them.

With Lulu sagging against him, and using his Murasame as a walking staff, he guided her into the oasis. Lulu could have cried with relief when she saw the huge, clear pool of water there, and Auron did not miss this. He eased her to the ground, and after a moment of hesitation, laid a gentle kiss on the top of her head.

"Drink. I'll be back in a second."

"Where are you going?" She asked. She was already on her knees by the waterside, and were it not for speaking with Auron, would have already slammed her face into the water.

"Forgot my coat." Auron smirked. She was obviously dying to get into the water, but was too much of a lady to simply dive in.

He chose that moment to make his exit.

When he returned with his coat in hand, he found Lulu's clothing, and pins laying on the bank of the pool, and heard her delighted laughter from somewhere in the darkness.

"You don't know how deep it is." He called out a warning.

"Shut up, Auron."

Auron had to grin at this.

He busied himself, for a time, with starting a small fire. The desert could become very cold at night, and he had not intention of letting Lulu catch another chill.

And when that was done, he was left with nothing to do. After a moment's consideration, he opted to strip off his clothes, and bathe in the pool. He had no intentions, save for a bath.

The water was crisp, and surprisingly cold. Of course, even warm water would have been a delight after slogging around in the sun and sand all day. He dipped beneath the surface, and rubbed his hair vigorously. He rubbed at his skin, and sighed when he came up for air. It was such a good feeling to be clean.

The feeling of a fingertip tracing down his spine made him shiver suddenly, and he turned to face Lulu with not a little bit of surprise.

In the dim light of the moon, he saw her langorously standing in the water, holding out something in her hand.

"What?" He asked, afraid to say much else. He was afraid that if he allowed himself to speak much more, he would try to say something suave, and romantic, and end up blundering utterly.

"I know it smells like roses, but do you want to use it?" She asked.

Auron stared at her blankly. His mind raced with all sorts of bawdy thoughts.

"Well?"

He snapped out of his stupidity, and blinked.

"I'm sorry. I can't see what you're offering." He said, inwardly cursing himself for an idiot.

"Oh. I've got a bar of soap. Do you want to use it?"

"Roses, you say?"

"Don't worry. The smell won't turn you into a girl." Lulu's voice was good-naturedly teasing.

"Where the hell were you carrying soap at?" He asked, suddenly confused.

"Stuffed down the front of my dress." Lulu answered, sarcastically.

Auron stared at her.

"Do you want to use it or not?" She pressed.

"Was it really down the front of your dress?"

Lulu sighed in exasperation, and laughed, and splashed him. Auron shielded himself from the little wave of water, and looked to Lulu's grinning face.

"Turn around." She ordered. When Auron obeyed, she began to soap up his back. The feeling of her hands sliding over his bare skin brought goosebumps to his skin, and he was at once glad for the cover of water and night. In neither could she see his growing arousal.

When she had his back and shoulders soaped up, she splashed water on him to rinse him clean. And then she ordered him to turn around. Auron had half a mind to refuse. But then again...he really didn't want to.

He turned and faced her, and she came just a shade closer. Her hands snaked out, and she rubbed the soap against his chest. Her fingertips ran over his collarbone, his shoulders once more, and combed down through the fine covering of hair on his chest. She soaped up his belly, and then his arms, twining her fingers through his as she did so.

And then her cheeks flamed red and she backed away slightly.

"You should probably rinse off now."

"What's wrong?" Auron asked. For the life of him, he couldn't think of anything else to say.

"I'm not your bathing maiden.." The colour rose in her face, and she began to swim away from him.

He caught her hand, and pulled her back to him, catching her up in his arms. She fit nicely in the confines of them, and Auron looked down at her with a small smile of satisfaction playing on his lips. Lulu did not protest, or fight him.

She did gasp, however, when her legs brushed against something very warm, and very hard beneath the water.

For a moment, neither of them spoke. Lulu was too embarassed, and Auron was lost in the joy of simply holding her.

And then Auron pulled them both into more shallow water, where he could sit crossed legged on the bottom of the pool, and hold her in his lap. The water still hid Lulu's nudity from him, and he did not know whether to be glad, or irritated by it.

They just sat there, and in time, Lulu's arms came up to wrap around his torso. He held her, and she sat listening to the slow beat of his heart.

"I had a dream about you." Auron said at last.

Lulu didn't answer. She wished she could say the same, but she never remembered her dreams, and when she did, it was usually about Chappu.

Finally, she spoke.

"Was it a good dream?" She asked.

"It was." 'At first...'Auron thought.

There was more silence.

At length, the water grew chill, and they retreated from the pool. Lulu dried out her hair, and pulled her chemise back on. That done, she lay on her side, staring into the fire. Auron opted for just his pants, and shirt, and he sat cross-legged beside her.

Again, neither of them spoke for the longest time. But it was a comfortable silence.

Auron had been studying Lulu. He watched as she rolled over to lay on her back, and he watched as her eyes drooped closed.

She is so tired, he thought.

He strove not to make a sound as he got up, and stretched himself out beside her. He put the trees of the oasis at his back, and faced the fire, faced Lulu. Auron propped himself up on an elbow, and stared down at Lulu as she slept. For the longest time, he simply watched her sleep. He watched every intake of breath, and the fall of her chest as she breathed out. He watched her eyelids flutter, and her lips part.

A finger came up to caress over her bottom lip. Her breath was warm on his fingernail, and he reached up to brush the hair off of her face.

She looked just as lovely as she did in his dream, with her hair pulled away from her face. Auron could not resist tracing his fingertips over the smooth skin of her cheek.

Lulu's eyelids fluttered, and she woke. Her eyes blinked sleepily, and looked up at him. She did not seem surprised to seem him leaning over her and watching her sleep.

Yevon help him, he couldn't stop himself. Auron leaned down, and kissed her. His mouth moved over hers gently, tenderly. For a second, he might have been able to fool himself into thinking that she was indeed, his wife. But she wasn't. Not yet, Auron thought.

His tongue parted those petal-soft lips beneath his, and he sought to explore every confine of her mouth. She tasted like cinammon, like cloves. She tasted bitter, like a fine wine, and Auron was drunk with her.

His hand cupped at her cheek, brushed the soft skin of her earlobe, and her hair. And she just lay there meekly, accepting his kiss and his touch.

In time, his lips moved away from hers, and trailed a garland of kisses along her jawline. He buried his face in her hair, and inhaled the fresh scent of summer roses. Took her earlobe between his lips and gently sucked on it.

Her fingers came up to stroke through his hair, to twine in the ponytail at the base of his neck.

Tenderly, his hands went to the hem of her chemise, and he pulled it upwards off of her body, and over her head until she lay bare before him. His breath caught ragged in his throat, so great was his growing desire. For a second, he only lay there beside her, and marveled at the perfection of Lulu's body. Then, as if he were about to lay his hands on the most delicate of porcelains, he reached out, and traced a fingertip from her collarbone to right between her breasts. The skin was like pure silk, just as he imagined it would be. Lulu shivered beneath his touch. He watched in fascination as her nipples grew hard in the cold air, and spurred on by his fingertips stroking the roundness of her breasts. Auron trailed his fingers up to those rosy peaks, and his touch played over them.

Again, Lulu shuddered.

Slowly, his hands moved down her belly. He delighted in the softness of it, the smoothness of her skin. He delighted in the flare of her tiny hips, and the velvety texture of the skin of her thighs.

'How does she stay so soft and delicate?' Auron wondered. Didn't her training, didn't her pilgrimages toughen her body?

His fingers slid up her inner thighs, the feel of that skin there feeling like a lamb's ear, like cornsilk. And he brushed over the dark curls that hid the flower of Lulu's womanhood. He felt the dewy wetness, the heat on his fingertips. He brushed his thumb over the little nub that brought her such pleasure, and the cry that came from Lulu's lips was sweet music to him.

Auron raised his head to kiss her once more, and he found Lulu's hands tugging at his shirt, pulling it off of him. He found her hands working at his belt, and undoing the laces to his pants. He shivered as the cool air hit his skin. And then the warmth of Lulu's flesh was like to burn him.

When he was at last naked beside her, he pressed himself to her. He reveled in the feeling of her soft skin against his own body. Her thighs brushed over his hardness, and it came to rest on her belly. Auron thought that he had never felt anything quite so nice in all of his life.

They lay there like that for Yevon only knew how long. They simply kissed each other, and basked in the moment of being so intimate with another human being. Every touch was the sweetest pleasure. Every kiss only served to heighten the desire between them.

And at long last, Auron parted her thighs, and fitted himself within her. He watched her face as he entered her. The blissful look of pleasure that crossed her features made him shudder, and he gathered her close to him. She was so very hot, so very wet around him; he felt as if she was burning into his soul.

Her arms came around him, and Auron buried his face in Lulu's neck once more.

Lulu could barely catch her breath. How long had it been? Chappu had been the last, and that had been several years ago.

She felt as if an animal was consuming her, devouring her soul as Auron moved in and out of her. He filled her full to overflowing, and she was helpless. She could do nothing more than hold him, and let him take her.

Eventually, the pace picked up, and became frenzied. Auron lifted her arms above her head, and twined his hands with hers. He brought his lips down to her breast, and paid his worship to first one nipple, and then the other. He kissed from her chest to her neck, and then took her lips once more. The heat grew, and grew, until finally Auron cried out, and released himself to her.

For Lulu's part, little stars seemed to form and burst before her eyes. A slice of pure heaven seemed to sweep through her body, and her own hoarse cries joined Auron's own.

They lay joined together there, for hours it seemed. Eventually, Auron lifted himself off of Lulu, and picked her up to carry her back to the pool. In the cold water, they rinsed each other clean once more. They held other tightly, little kisses and caresses exchanged. Neither could name the growing feelings within them. Either that, or neither of them had the courage to.

Once more at the fireside, Lulu lay curled in Auron's arms. He pulled his huge coat over the two of them, and there, beneath the stars, and the tree branches, and the huge silver moon, the two lovers finally fell asleep.


	10. Continuation

Aching, jarring pain in every bone of his body. He didn't want to move. Didn't want to force his muscles to obey.

Yevon knows, he wouldn't have, either, if the sun hadn't been beating down on him, and drying him out. Wakka could imagine himself as a small pond, evaporating in the sun.

With head pounding with every movement, Wakka flipped himself over in the sand. Somehow, the grit found it's way into his mouth. He spat, and cursed, and tried to push himself up.

'Can't do it.' Wakka thought to himself. 'Too tired.'

All the others were gone anyway. He didn't know if they were dead, or just lost, or what. They were still gone.

And Lulu. She'd been so sick when the wave had washed in. When Sin had attacked...

Wakka's fists balled up, and he felt his face crumpling.

Lulu...

His fists beat down on the sand beneath him, sending up puffs of dirt.

'I shouldn't think like this.' He chastised himself, even as the tears were running down his cheeks. 'Lu's stronger than that...'

But she wasn't strong when Sin attacked. He thought about her. How tired she'd been. How weak. How many times Yuna had had to heal her.

"Damn you, Sin!" Wakka cried out. He ground his knuckles into his eyes. The grit stung, but he didn't care.

'Just gotta get out of the sun.' He thought. 'Just get into the shade, and then...'

And then he could give up.

It had taken him the greater part of the day to find his shelter. The ruins of a machina city had been draped with old, tattered fabric. Inside, it was only just a few degrees cooler with the shade, but Wakka could have wept with relief to be out of the sun. The walls were covered with signs he couldn't read. Letters that were illegible to him. He knew what language it was though. Al Bhed.

Whatever. He was too tired to be outaged, or incensed.

The sand cushioned his body, and he was asleep within only a few minutes.

His dreams were troubled. The entire time he slept, Wakka dreamt that he was chasing something, and but he could never catch whatever it was he was pursuing. Once he thought it might have been Lulu. Once he thought it was Auron. But whatever it was, he never caught it.

Wakka came awake as smoothly as he'd fallen asleep. One minute, he simply was awake, and staring into the purple-blue sky of the early morning. It had to be about...four or five in the morning. The stars were glittering in a way that they never had over Besaid. He wished Lu were here to see them.

She'd always loved staring at the stars. He remembered how she would lay on her back, with her hands cushioning her head, and just lay for hours in contemplation of the heavens.

God, she'd been so beautiful.

'I'm never going to see Lu again...' Wakka thought to himself.

A single tear trickled down his cheek once more.

What would Lulu want him to do in this situation, he wondered.

Almost as clear as if she were standing in front of him, Wakka could imagine Lulu. No doubt, she'd have her hands on her hips, and be scowling at him like usual.

Yevon, he'd give anything for her to scowl at him right now.

And then, most likely, she'd make some scatching remark about how he was being weak, and giving up, and how Chappu would have never given up.

'I'm not Chappu.'

Chappu is dead...

I'm alive...

Wakka watched as the horizon began to blush, and lighten. Soon the sun would be coming up.

'As long as I got a hope of her loving me, then I gotta try.'

His eyes picked out the silhoette of the mountains against the sky.

'Soon as the sun's up, soon as I can see...I'm going to come look for you, Lu.' He thought.

If he didn't find Lulu, he might as well be dead anyway...


	11. Rising

The desert sun warmed the sand quickly. Within a matter of minutes, those thousands of tiny little beads of glass and crystal would be warm enough to sting the soles of even the most travel-hardened foot. The rays of sun would sap the strength of whatever unfortunate creature ventured beneath them. And the same sun that was warming the empty shelter Wakka had just vacated wasn't even beginning to penetrate the lush foliage of the oasis where Auron and Lulu lay stretched beneath his coat.  
  
Lulu awoke first, stirring against Auron's warm body. In the haze of her having just woken up, she noted to herself how hard his body was. How unmoving the muscles and sinew of his chest and arms were. But she felt good. She felt as if she'd slept for a thousand years, and all her ills had been healed. The terrible sickness she'd been dealing with was vanished. Her body had finally had just enough time to repair itself. If she could count on a full night's sleep the next night, then she just might be at full strength.  
  
Her ruby eyes quietly surveyed the area around the couple. Their campfire lay in a pile of smoldering coals now. The few bits of sunlight that did drift down through the leaves above shone brilliantly through the water of the lagoon. A warm wind filtered through the trees, and she sniffed the air.  
  
'Time to get up.' She thought. 'I should ready myself for hard travel this day.'  
  
It would be much easier now, with Auron by her side.  
  
She let Auron sleep. He may deny from dawn 'til dusk, but she knew the journey across the desert had to have been hard on him as well. As soon as they had finished making love, he had drifted down into a dull, heavy sleep. For a moment, Lulu had feared him dead. But he drew breath and his eyes fluttered beneath their lids for an instant, and then she too, had been sucked down into sleep.  
  
As gingerly as possible, Lulu extricated herself from Auron's arms. As she stepped away, his hands searched for her momentarily, before coming to rest once more. He murmured in his sleep. She looked down on him, and had a flash of memory. Flaming red hair, blue eyes lit up in the firelight. Chappu smiling up at her as she settled in beside him.  
  
Her ebony hair swung free as she shook her head.  
  
'That's gone.' She thought. Her eyes left Auron's face, and focused on the dunes outside the oasis. 'This is now.'  
  
Where were the others? Had they succumbed to the awesome force of the tsunami that Sin had spilled on them? She couldn't bear to think of little Yuna, dead and baking somewhere on the sands. Tidus, and Kimahri, and Wakka.... The taste of blood in her mouth startled her, and in surprise, she found that she had bitten her lip.  
  
Scorning her lapse into weakness, Lulu grabbed her hairpins, and retreated to the waters of the lagoon. Very well, then. She must travel today. The hair would have to go back up. Braiding the black mass took the better part of two hours, and she sat there on the banks, wetting her hair, and plaiting it. But the long, methodical work did little to alleviate the anxiety she felt. She tried to force the memories away, but she remembered Chappu braiding her hair for her, and then later, after Chappu had died, Wakka's clumsy fingers learning the intricate work.  
  
'Why you gotta braid your hair, Lu? Just let it loose...'  
  
Lulu's fingers stilled. She squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath.  
  
"Wakka is nothing to me!" She whispered aloud. "He's nothing."  
  
Then why the pang of sadness?  
  
Furious with herself, Lulu finished the braids, and knotted the ties around the ends.  
  
She'd done nothing wrong by sleeping with Auron. She was free, and so was he. Nothing wrong whatsoever. Then why did she feel like she was betraying somebody?  
  
Lulu dipped her hands into the water, and gave herself a fast washing, then stepped from the lagoon. The sounds of Auron's breathing focused her, and she fastened herself into her dress with robotic motions. Travel, and finding the others. This was what she must focus on today. No time for these little trivialities.  
  
When her little feet had been zipped into her boots, she nudged Auron with her toe. He snorted, and then opened his good eye, squinting up at her. Lulu's lips curved into a smile as she gazed down at him.  
  
"Enough sleep. I want to find the others by sundown."  
  
Auron's hand moved to curl around her ankle, and he grinned up at her in that way that only lovers grin at each other. 


	12. Rage

Chapter 12  
  
**((This is all made-up. I still don't own FFX or the characters. I just take liberties with them.))**  
  
When Auron had finished dressing, he and Lulu set off.  
  
Secretly, Lulu had watched Auron in his full glory while he had gone about his business. She did not help him with his clothes, partially because she felt he did not need her help, and partially because she was overcome with a particular shyness she had not felt in a long time. It behooved her, because she wasn't a virgin; she hadn't been a virgin when she'd gone to bed with Auron, and she hadn't been at all shy with Chappu when they had consumated their love before his leaving. But she did appreciate the knowing smiles that Auron gave her, and she did appreciate his lightening of mood.  
  
How very strange to her, that two such sullen people could find themselves as giddy as the less sullen they were accustomed to traveling with!  
  
She knew it was a little awkward for Auron, the way he came and wrapped her up in his arms, and kissed her on the lips. But she also knew it was sweet, and delicious, and ambrosia for them both. The awkwardness be damned. It would fade eventually.  
  
And yet, even while she relished being in Auron's arms, she felt again as if she were playing the whore, and not being true to something. What, or who? Chappu, or Wakka?  
  
Lulu thought on this while she and Auron traveled. The Sanubia Sands were vast, and she had plenty of time to ponder.  
  
Auron and Lulu were not idiots. Besaid was tropical, and Kilika and Luca were as well, but no place had such rolling deserts like Bikanel Island.  
  
The two walked in comfortable silence, and this was suitable for both of them. Lulu was thankful that she did not have to speak, and interrupt the pattern of her thoughts.  
  
She had to be honest. When she thought of Auron, she didn't think of children, and their own little house, and the future. They merely understood each other. She did love him, yes. But she wasn't sure when that feeling of love sprang up, or where it had come from. She felt it, and she knew that it had been growing for a while. But there was also a nagging in the pit of her belly. She didn't set her expectations high, and hope for anything to come from her indiscretions with Auron other than a pleasent diversion. She didn't know why, but she felt with conviction that what she had with Auron would not last past the pilgrimage.  
  
But on the other hand, Wakka would still be there after the pilgrimage. He would be there, repairing her hut, and tending to her flowers, and making sure she ate properly, and did not tire herself with her studies.  
  
He was always there, insisting she come to the beach and watch the Blitz practices. He would be there, bringing her samples of the treats that some of the local women had concocted.  
  
Truth be known, she wasn't sure if she could survive very well without Wakka doing the menial things for her.  
  
"You're deep in thought.." Auron's voice interrupted her.  
  
"I am." She admitted. "I am wondering how things will be, when I finally see Besaid again."  
  
"They will be much changed."  
  
It put a feeling of unease in Lulu's heart, the way he said that with such belief.  
  
For a while, the two walked.  
  
The sun beat down on them relentlessly. After a couple of hours, Auron shrugged off the sleeves to his red coat, and soon enough, sweat had soaked through the black shirt that he wore underneath. Lulu was uncomfortable enough in her dress. When she had constructed her black dress, she had still been in Besaid, and had just passed her trials to become a black mage. Her latent talent towards the magickal had blossomed early, and she had went to the temple for Yevon's blessing around the same time that her body had begun to flower. Thinking back, she could remember sitting in the cool rooms of the temple, and sewing together the dress that would mark her indeliably in the memories of the Besaid people as the resident black mage.  
  
She had been tempted at the time to make the dress out of leather, or wool, or something heavy. The temple rooms had been so cool at the time that she shivered. But the old priest supervising her work had warned her that she would be wearing this much of the time. She would be traveling to foreign lands, and heavy fabric would not be comfortable. Now she thought back on the old priest and blessed him silently. The silk damask wasn't comfortable, but it wasn't as bad as it could have been, and for that, she was thankful.  
  
Lulu would have been shocked though, if she'd known that every now and again, Auron was stealing glances at her. She would have been more shocked to know that he was envious of the beads of her necklace, resting between her breasts. He didn't mind the sweat on her brow. In fact, in Auron's eyes, it made her all the more real. More earthy...  
  
"There'll be another oasis ahead. A smaller one...."  
  
Auron was interrupted by the sound of a cry of pain. A loud shriek went up, and it took Lulu a second to recognize the sound.  
  
"Tidus is somewhere around here!" Her eyes went wide and she looked around, searching for the battle. "You know how inept he is."  
  
Meaning the little wanker would be dead meat if they didn't find him soon.  
  
They crested a sand dune, and found the oasis Auron had been speaking of. Tidus was huddled over, sword clenched in hand, and one arm wrapped around his midsection. He was panting, and focused on a large, black bird which swooped in once more and attacked him.  
  
Auron hefted his sword, and with a grunt, slid down the dune. When he reached the bottom, he swung his Murasame, catching the fiend in the gut. The bird was hurt, but not yet dead, and still a threat.  
  
'What element would be good for the desert...?' Lulu thought frantically, and halted at the top of the sand dune. Fire would be ludicrous in such a hot place. Water would only invigorate. Ice....  
  
"This is ridiculous.." She muttered. Her arms went up in a salute, and she bent, flinging the spell at the bird. The crackle of lightening, and thunder gathered, and she watched with satisfaction, as the giant bird was electrocuted.  
  
It fell to the ground, dead, and burst into a cloud of pyreflies. Tidus slumped over in relief, and Auron began rifling about in his pack for a Hi-Potion.  
  
"Are you alright?" Lulu called, as she began her descent down the sand dune.  
  
"Yeah." Tidus replied. "The others?"  
  
Lulu flushed red. She had not even thought about Yuna up until then. She was suddenly thankful for the sunburn on her cheeks.  
  
"Haven't found them yet." Lulu said. Technically, this was not a lie. "We're supposed to stay in one place if we get split up."  
  
As she said this, she cast a sideways glance at Auron. There was an amused expression on his face that Lulu could not decipher.  
  
His good eye closed in a wink, and then he turned and started over the sands, walking away.  
  
"Wait here if you want." Tidus began gulping the Hi-Potion. "He's not."  
  
With a pained expression, and a small sound of displeasure, Tidus set off after Auron, trying to mirror his pace. A grin spread over Lulu's face.  
  
'You're so hard on him, Auron. That's what was amusing you.' She chuckled. It was like pounding a piece of hard clay into shape. You had to get it pliant before you could craft it into a useful piece.  
  
She hitched her skirt up into her hands, and followed the two.  
  
********************************************************************  
  
When the temperature reached it's peak, Wakka crawled back underneath the machina ruin, and rested against the wall of it. They were all supposed to stay in one place if they got seperated. And as soon as possible, he planned on kicking out of here and finding Lulu.  
  
He was only inside the machina for an hour, when he heard voices. Jubilant, he launched up off the ground, and promptly banged his head on the ceiling of the ruin.  
  
"Ow! Dammit!"  
  
"Wakka! You alone?!" Tidus cried.  
  
The blond boy was dashing to the ruin, just as Wakka was emerging from it, hand rubbing at the crown of his head.  
  
"Mm-Hm." Wakka grunted.  
  
As he was straightening up, Wakka caught sight of the other two people behind Tidus. For some reason, he froze as he saw Lulu. She looked.....better than he could ever remember her looking. She had such a flush in her cheeks, and there was a lightness around her. Almost as if she'd had a huge weight lifted from her back... Almost like in the old days, when she and Chappu had just fallen in love.  
  
And then he saw the man standing beside her. He watched as Auron tipped his head towards her, and spoke something low, beneath his breath. He saw the faintest blush colour Lu's already-sunburnt cheeks. And then Wakka saw red. Such intense hatred and jealousy welled up inside of him that he almost couldn't control it. The hand that was not on top of his head, on the bump where he'd banged himself, clenched into a fist. His other hand dropped, the pain in his scalp suddenly forgotten.  
  
He wanted to run up to Auron and kill the man where he stood.  
  
The self-righteous son of a bitch had used Lulu.  
  
Wakka could tell it. He could tell by how close Auron stood to Lulu. He could tell by the way Auron spoke to her. He could tell by Lulu's reaction.  
  
Stiffly, Wakka turned to Tidus.  
  
"Where's Yuna?" His body felt like it had gone to stone. His voice was wooden.  
  
Tidus looked back at Lulu, as if for guidance. She shrugged helplessly, and then everyone looked to Auron, who stared ahead. There was silence.  
  
"Dammit!" Wakka swore, and turned to kick the ruin. He lacked a better outlet, and though his toes now hurt terribly, as well as the bump on his head, he wanted to just go on kicking the ruin all day. "First I lose Yuna, and then I'm ambushed by machina. Great day I'm having."  
  
In anger, Wakka turned, and strode off across the dunes. He did not know where he was going, and he was barely aware of the others following.  
  
He was mostly only aware of the pain in his gut, and in his chest.  
  
'Wonder if he held her hand all the way 'cross the desert?' Wakka thought. 'Wonder what they slept on top of?'  
  
His eyes clenched shut for a second, and then his fists. When he opened his eyes, he was nearly blinded by the bright glare of the sun. It was so....hard...not to turn...and scream....  
  
"Kimahri!" Tidus shrieked. The kid went running past Wakka. Wakka himself was thankful for the momentary reprieve.  
  
Kimahri was trying to climb up a dune. The sand kept giving beneath his massive weight, and would fall down on the big, blue beast as he fell. But this didn't seem to bother Kimahri. The only expression registering on the cat's face was something like broken. Defeated.  
  
"Yuna...gone." Kimahri grunted.  
  
"It's not your fault!" Tidus grabbed Kimahri's forearm, and dragged him up out of the sand. The beast let himself be led, and in silence, the four of them set out once more...  
  
**More to come** 


	13. Torn

Chapter 13  
  
All through the voyages to Home, and then the desperate bid for freedom in the airship, Wakka fought with a fury. The group noticed, but did not say anything. As for Wakka, he was content only in the anger that he felt when he lay his eyes on fiends. He envisioned each fiend wearing Auron's face, and that was all the motivation he needed to put his body and soul behind the killing blow he delivered each time. With every kill, he pretended that he was proving something to himself, to the others, and most of all, to Lulu, and Auron.  
  
He wished he could go right up to Lulu and tell her, "See, ya? You made the wrong choice!"  
  
And to Auron, he wished he could say, "You're not necessary. I'm all she needs."  
  
But he could do neither. As stupid as Wakka seemed outwardly, he was smart enough to realize that the group needed Auron, that they needed Tidus, and without one, the other would be gone. He was a guidance, a steadying. The pillar of strength that everyone needed. If Auron was not afraid of what was to come, then each of them had no reason to be. Besides...if Auron was who Lulu wanted....then he had no right to dissuade that choice.  
  
The trip to Bevelle took the course of a day; Wakka found himself sitting on the roof of the airship, staring out at the scenary as it all flew past. Beneath, Tidus, and Rikku were planning their rescue of Yuna. Wakka found his thoughts on other subjects, however. Yuna, to his shame, was the furthest thing from his mind; nothing could be done about it at that moment, so he did not think about it.  
  
He sat and thought about Lulu. Memories went through his mind. And this was mainly what he focused on. He stared out at the sea, which they were currently flying over. But he didn't see the sunlight breaking on the waves below. He saw Lulu.  
  
"Something is wrong with you.."  
  
Wakka jumped, and turned to glare at the offending party. He knew who it was, and this only made him glare more.  
  
"What you want, Lu?"  
  
Lulu moved to him, belts and beads clinking together. She crouched near him, and studied his face for a moment. And then she raised her face to stare out at the sea, just as he had been doing a moment before.  
  
"You're melancholy. What is wrong?"  
  
Wakka sighed, angry. He didn't want to discuss what was going on inside of him, most of all not with Lulu. But if he didn't say something, she would just hammer at him for a while, then turn sullen. He didn't want that. As angry as he was...he didn't want Lulu sullen. She'd been sullen for two years. No more.  
  
"I'm not stupid, ya? None of us are. We all see what's going on between you and Auron."  
  
Wakka dropped the 'Sir' from Auron's title. He no longer had enough respect for the man to be able to call him 'Sir.'  
  
Lulu blinked. She had no answer for this. Faintness went through her, and a blush crept up on her cheeks. She had never wanted Wakka to know...but yet, there was no way she could have kept it from him.  
  
"When you say 'we', you mean yourself..." She said weakly.  
  
Wakka sat in silence. So what if he did? He was the only one that mattered. Lulu sat in silence. She had no reply for him. When, at length, one of them spoke, it was Wakka, in a fury.  
  
"Is he gonna do the right thing, at least? Marry you, so you don't gotta have bastards?"  
  
His voice was unnecessarily harsh. Right now, he wanted to strike out and hurt her, and was succeeding admirably. Lulu raised her hand to her lips, and turned her head away.  
  
"I don't...."  
  
"You don't what? Don't want to marry him? So, you just be a whore and have lots of his babies, and go your own way?"  
  
"Wakka, why are you saying all these things?"  
  
But inwardly, she agreed with him...she felt very much, like the whore..  
  
"I say these things 'cause he's just taking advantage of you, and you too stupid to see it!"  
  
"None of that's true."  
  
"If you're not stupid, then you're just fickle, and it's a good thing Chappu died."  
  
Lulu recoiled as if she'd been slapped. Wakka instantly regretted opening his mouth, but the words were out there. He couldn't un-say them.  
  
There was a great length of silence from Lulu, and Wakka at last had to steal a glance at her. And he instantly regretted that too. Huge tears were rolling down her cheeks, smearing the kohl lining her eyes, and splashing off her chin.  
  
"T-That was cruel..." Her voice quavered, and it tore at Wakka's heart.  
  
Why had he said such a mean thing?  
  
"And what? What you're doing now ain't?"  
  
It was like a worm had crawled into Wakka's heart. Like a small seed of hate had been planted and was flourishing in the most fertile ground ever created. He couldn't stop himself from saying all these things; He wanted to say them. He wanted to hammer at her, and hurt her, until she broke down and admitted that she was wrong. That she was so very wrong, and would forget all about Auron and come to him. But he knew she wouldn't, and that made him want to hurt her more.  
  
Suddenly, Lulu's hand flashed out, and her slap stung across his cheek. Wakka's head rocked back a bit, and then he looked up at her, honestly surprised.  
  
Lulu stood over him, a dark goddess of fury. Anger showed plain in her features, while tears continued to fall down her cheeks. The salt water left black trails where the kohl had mixed.  
  
"How dare you! How do you dare?!"  
  
Her voice cracked. "Chappu died! I waited for him and he died. He left me behind, and died, and I sat on Besaid, waiting for his ship to come in. Regardless of the feelings between you and I, Wakka, I have a right to be happy! Don't you ever doubt that again."  
  
She could have slapped him again. She was sorely tempted to, but she didn't. She couldn't, when Wakka was staring at her so stupidly.  
  
"Yes, Wakka. I know there is tension between us. I know there's feelings. But did you ever stop to think for a second that I might grow sick of waiting for you too?"  
  
Why didn't she speak first? She knew well enough that Wakka was in love with her. Because she knew that Chappu's shadow hung over him, and that he would never do anything to dishonour his brother's memory. Taking his dead brother's fiancee to wife would do exactly that.  
  
Wakka watched, surprised, shocked, as Lulu turned on her heel, and dashed to the door.  
  
He heard her sniffling as she went, and pain went through his heart as he realized that she was crying once again.  
  
**************************************  
  
There was a long silence between Lulu and Wakka. All through the raid on Bevelle, and their time spent in the Via Purifico, and even afterwards, the two did not even look at each other.  
  
Which is not to say that they didn't think about each other constantly.  
  
The scant time that Lulu had with alone with Auron, they fell into each other's arms as if they were dying of thirst, and it could only be quenched from each other's lips. But even still, Lulu's heart was heavy. As Auron's arms surrounded her, and his stubble brushed at her face, she wondered if it should be Wakka's stubble, and Wakka's arms, and Wakka's lips.  
  
But she had meant what she'd said. She too, had a right to be happy. And Auron gave her happiness.  
  
As for Auron, he was clueless about what happened. Lulu had not told him a word. He knew only that something more was weighing on her heart, and that Wakka had the same sullen expression on his face. He guessed, correctly, that words had been exchanged between the two, and that those words had not been to Wakka's liking. But be that as it may, Auron focused himself on the task at hand, and comforting Lulu when he could.  
  
At length, the group escaped from Bevelle, and fled to the Macalanian woods. Yuna had taken Kimahri with her to a small pond not far from the campsite. Tidus soon followed, to talk with Yuna.  
  
Auron was weary. He'd been riding through the days with little sleep, and it was beginning to wear on him. Even unsent as he was, he had his limits, and he had reached them. His masamune was leaned against a tree, and he stretched out at Lulu's feet.  
  
Auron slept like the dead.  
  
Wakka and Rikku kept their distance from the pair. Rikku had noticed the particular closeness between Auron and Lulu of late, but thought little of it. Some things were her business, and others were not. She thought they were a terrific match, actually. They were both so cold and grumpy. What a pair.  
  
But Wakka, with thoughts swirling through his mind, knew only that he must make things right with Lulu. The time he'd spent in the Via Purifico with Tidus and Rikku, had served to clear his head a bit.  
  
Lulu was right. She was completely, and totally right. She did have a right to her own happiness. She couldn't sit around and wait for him forever.  
  
Wakka's footsteps echoed, crunching and snapping of twigs beneath his sandals. He approached Lulu, where she sat by Auron, with a spellbook in her hands. She looked up as he approached.  
  
"Lu?" Wakka's voice was soft. "I got to talk to you."  
  
Lulu's eyes registered an expression that was unreadable to Wakka. She seemed to deliberate, to turn things over in her mind. And then she nodded.  
  
In silence, they walked away from the campsite, left Auron sleeping, and Rikku happily dissecting a piece of machina she'd found. There were other clearings, where they could be alone, and discuss what they wanted, as loud as they wanted. Lulu had no doubt that there would be shouting eventually, and so she was glad that the place where she and Wakka went, they would not be disturbing, and could not be heard.  
  
Wakka paused, and then sat down on a fallen log. A heavy sigh went through him. His eyes went to the black mage, and then down once more. There was silence.  
  
"Out with it." Lulu said. "What do you need to say?"  
  
Wakka gazed up at her. His throat constricted suddenly, but he swallowed, forcing it back. Say the words...he thought to himself. Let her go.  
  
"You were right, Lu." His eyes went to his feet. He could not look at her.  
  
"You were right all along. You gotta right to be happy. I was wrong. I was jealous."  
  
Lulu stood watching him. Her stomach had been knotting and unknotting with tension, but it was quickly slipping away. Now only a heavy sadness was moving in. She waited as Wakka opened his mouth to speak once more.  
  
"You were right about the feelings, you know? I did love you. I do...love you." Wakka corrected himself. "But I was scared. I didn't know what people would say. They'd say bad things about you, you know? Losing one brother then going after the other. Then they'd say bad things about me. Say that I was happy when Chappu died, so I could have my shot. They'd say all kinds of horrible things."  
  
"You know that's not true." Lulu's voice was cold.  
  
"I didn't know that. You know how everyone talks."  
  
"We aren't in Besaid anymore. We don't know if we're going back to Besaid."  
  
"I'm sorry, Lu. I was just scared that it wouldn't be right. I just wanted to take care of you."  
  
Even though she knew it shouldn't be, Lulu felt her heart melting. He did take care of her. Yevon, but he did. In so many ways. He did all her menial chores for her. He brought her gifts, he cooked for her. He did everything he could to show that he loved her besides outright taking her in his arms, and saying the words out loud.  
  
"I know you do." She said softly.  
  
Wakka's head snapped up, tearing glinting at the corner of the blue eyes. Lulu had to fight the urge to brush them away.  
  
"Then let me, Lu! I promise I won't care what anyone says now!"  
  
"I made my choice..." Her eyes went darting away. She couldn't look him in the face.  
  
Wakka climbed to his feet, and came to put his hands on her forearms. They slid, skin over skin, to enclose her little hands in his huge, bear-like paws. He held her, so small and fraile. So cold.  
  
"You know I love you! You know I loved you for a long time! We take care of each other."  
  
"I can't help that."  
  
"Yeah, you can. Why you want him anyway? You don't even know if he's going to stick around after the pilgrimage is over."  
  
"At this point, we don't even know if there is going to be a pilgrimage." Lulu looked up at him.  
  
"Is that how it's gonna be? You exclusive to him, and him to you?"  
  
"I don't know." Lulu looked away. She didn't know when her strength had fled her. She didn't know when she'd become so meek. She didn't like it, but couldn't help it.  
  
"I just don't want to see you hurt more. If you're happy with Auron, then that's good." Wakka looked down, biting at his lip. "But you deserve it all! The best. I gotta be sure that's what he's going to do for you. Babies, and marriage, and all that."  
  
"It's not any of your concern..." Lulu tried to force the hard, cold tone back into her voice. Her words must have came out a little more harsh than she would have liked, for Wakka looked up at her. His eyes spilled over this time, and he dropped her hands.  
  
Lulu's heart wrenched. She could not look at him; tears were stinging at the back of her own eyes.  
  
Wakka retreated from her, and sat down once more on the log. He bent over, and cupped his hands over his face. Tried to hide his eyes from her. Tried to hide the crying. His shoulders shook with silent sobs. He made no sound.  
  
Lulu could stand no more of this. Whatever happened between them, she loved Wakka in many ways. She'd made her choice to be with Auron, but it didn't mean that she wanted to watch Wakka cry. It didn't mean that she didn't want to be with Wakka at the same time.  
  
She drifted over, and let her hands fall on his shoulders.  
  
"I'm sorry." She said weakly. "I'm so sorry."  
  
Wakka shoulders drooped a bit, and then he raised his face to hers.  
  
There was silence, save for the sounds of the woods around them. The sound of water running somewhere. Small birds twittering in the twilight.  
  
Wakka's hands went to hers, and closed once more around them. He squeezed gently, and took a hand to his lips. He kissed the cold, soft skin, and then pressed it to his cheek. His eyes closed. Lulu swallowed hard, and put her other hand to his other cheek. She caressed him gently. Ruby eyes stared down at him. She could think of nothing to say.  
  
Without warning, Wakka jerked her down to him. She uttered a small cry, and fell to her knees, fell into his lap, and Wakka wrapped his arms around her waist and dragged her up. A huge hand cupped around the back of her neck, and Wakka's lips settled on hers with such a possessive air that she gasped.  
  
Lulu braced her hands on Wakka's shoulders, and shoved at him, but to no avail. He was so much stronger than her, and though she tried to turn her head away, his hand kept her from moving much, and she had no choice to to endure the kiss.  
  
Her heart fluttered within her chest. He couldn't be doing this. He wouldn't force her. She knew he wouldn't. And when his lips moved away from hers, she knew she was right.  
  
It was so very awkward. Wakka felt like an ass. Lulu was at a loss as to what to do. She knew she should break away.  
  
One more, Wakka's lips descended on hers. He kissed her again. He tried to so hard to do what was right. He tried to kiss her the right way. Show her that he could be just as exciting as Auron. But she tried to move away from him again, and he knew that he had to let her go.  
  
Wakka released her, and Lulu fell back from him. She stared at him. There were no words that seemed appropriate.  
  
In silence, she got to her feet, straightened her clothes. Knew that if Auron awoke, he would want to know where she was.  
  
Her eyes went back to Wakka.  
  
"I'm going back to him...."  
  
It wasn't necessary to word it like that. But she did.  
  
Wakka bowed his head, and listened to her walk away....  
  
*******  
  
More to come! 


	14. To Terms

***Note: I still don't own Square Enix, or the characters of this game. Dammit.***  
  
Chapter 14  
  
In the morning, the group set out once more. Depsite Tidus's best efforts the previous night, Yuna decided that continuing with her pilgrimage was the best thing to do. When she and Lulu spoke in hushed tones, it was revealed that she would feel so guilty about giving up on what she had promised to do, that she could not go through with it. Yuna also didn't know what to do with herself. Defeating Sin was her purpose. Regardless of whether it meant her life or not.  
  
Slowly, the seven of them moved out of the Macalania area, and near the Calm Lands. The air grew cooler, and the breezes began to pick up. Lulu was ever the more thankful for Auron's warmth in her bedroll at night.  
  
The two were open now. Tidus seemed bewildered. Wakka grew sullen, and hardly spoke. None of the others mentioned anything, although they watched Lulu and Auron from time to time. It was awkward as hell, but they all grew used to seeing Auron's hand come down on the small of Lulu's back from time to time as they walked. They grew used to seeing her fingers brush through his hair, and the smile on his face as he watched her. By the time the group crested the outlook onto the large meadow of the Calm Lands, all were in high spirits once more, except for Wakka. And he could not be helped at all.  
  
As they all looked out over the Calm Lands, Tidus came up behind where Lulu and Auron stood. The dark woman shivered, and crossed her arms over her chest as she looked silently, towards the mountains on the far side. Auron edged closer to her, his right arm coming to rest around her waist. Tidus looked to them, with a questioning glance in his eyes. This was a mellow place, right? It didn't look so bad.  
  
"The Calm Lands. Long ago, the high summoners fought Sin here." Lulu's voice was soft. She sounded hushed, as if speaking in library, or cathedral. "The road ends here. Beyond, there's no towns. No villages. Only endless plains."  
  
"Many summoners stray from their path and lose their way here." Auron interjected.  
  
With a low whistle, Tidus turned and looked on the Calm Lands with changed eyes. It was like looking down on a graveyard. How many had died here? And now he understood why Lulu and Auron could be so quiet; In the next few days the group would be crossing a burial ground, a battlefield. Where they slept, others had died.  
  
The Calm Lands were immense. It would take them two days to cross the vast plain. It was essential that the group stop at Rin's agency, and fill up on rations. It was odd, to Lulu, to be handing her purchases to Auron, instead of Wakka; it was odd to see Auron carrying her satchel, along with his.  
  
But she got used to it quickly.  
  
The first night, the group stopped in the shadow of a large machina ruin. There had once been a city here, a long, long time ago. A thousand years ago. How many summoners had laid their hands on this ruin, Lulu wondered, and decided to give up their pilgrimage once and for all? Here, Father Zuke's pilgrimage had ended. She remembered how relieved Wakka had been that night, when the three of them had clustered around a fire, and Father Zuke had told the two of his decision. They had both been so young....  
  
"It is time to sleep." Auron's voice whispered in her ear, and disrupted her reverie. Lulu took her hands off the ancient ruin, and turned her head to gaze at him. A faint smile came and stayed on her lips.  
  
"Kimahri has first watch, and then Tidus and Rikku." Auron's lips brushed her earlobe. "Come and sleep. You and I will be watching tomorrow night."  
  
"How many people stopped here?" Lulu's voice came out of the blue, and surprised Auron.  
  
He had thought that he had managed to turn the tide of her thoughts, and take the sad thoughtfulness from her face. But he was wrong.  
  
"In the span of a thousand years, there is no way to know for sure."  
  
Auron's hands closed over Lulu's, and he led her back through the shadows to the campfire. Wakka sat sullen on his blanket, inspecting one of his blitzballs, though Lulu suspected he was not really seeing it, just staring through it. She heard the laughter and giggling of Rikku and Yuna, though she didn't really hear it. Didn't really comprehend it.  
  
The moon ascended the night sky. Soon enough, the guardians, and their summoner drifted off into sleep. Kimahri sat awake, his back braced against a ruin, and lance in hand. He watched over the sleepers, and listened to the stirrings in the night.  
  
He was not the only one awake, however. With Auron curled at her back, arms around her form, Lulu laid with her arm propped beneath her head, and stared into the fire. So many things going through her head. So many thoughts.  
  
'Do I love him, because he makes me happy? Or do I love him because I am lonely?'  
  
It was a good thing, she told herself, to ask that question. She had known for a very long time that Wakka was in love with her, and denied it. She had denied it because of Chappu, because of propriety. She did not want to be with Auron now, out of loneliness. She wanted to be with him because they understood each other, and because her soul felt peace, for the first time, in a long time.  
  
Her red eyes went from the flames, to where Wakka lay. He was not asleep either, but laying on his back, staring up at the stars. As she watched, he brushed a hand over his nose, his lips, and then rubbed his eyes. For the first time, she saw the circles under his eyes, and it unsettled her. Poor Wakka. He had made such an effort. He'd tried so hard. But it came too late for her. She didn't want to be wanted because he thought he was losing her. She wanted to be wanted just for her. For the good times, when it didn't look like she would be going away, or stop loving him. She had wanted Wakka to speak up when things were golden, or at least, appeared to be. Not when he had competition, and his coveted place in her life would be lost. That wasn't love. It was cowardice. It was wanting to have your cake, and eat it too, and Lulu couldn't tolerate that.  
  
Wakka's head rolled to the side, and for a moment, his eyes connected with hers. They stared at each other through the flames, and Lulu wished she could tell him all this. She wished she could tell him and drive it home. Instead, she knew that if she sat him down, and explained it all, it would bounce off, and there would be so many excuses. Auron had moved towards her in the good times. He had not abandoned her in the bad. Wakka only needed her in the bad times.  
  
Lulu was surprised to find a wetness tracing down her cheek. She put her hand to her face, and found tears on her fingertips. Once more, she looked to Wakka, watching her. His eyes seemed to want to say so much, seemed to plead. And suddenly, she couldn't take it anymore.  
  
In the bedroll, Lulu braced her arm, and rolled herself over. Putting her back to Wakka, and her face to Auron. Auron's hand came down on her shoulder, and he made a face in his sleep. Lips came down on her cheek, and then he settled once more. From her back, Lulu heard a deep sigh, and then silence.  
  
Utter, total silence. Then she slept.  
  
***********************************  
  
A hour before dawn, the fire died, and Rikku sat awake. Her swirled eyes gazed out into the stillness of the Calm Lands. She twitched, full of energy, looking this way and that. Endeavoring to be the ever-vigilant guardian. Auron lay awake, watching her, and periodically looking down at the sleeping mage in his arms.  
  
'One way or another, this will end.' He thought.  
  
Idly, he tucked the edge of his coat tighter around Lulu, and kissed her cheek.  
  
'One way or another, I'll be sent at the end of this pilgrimage.'  
  
And what would happen to Lulu? More death. He had no doubt that she'd soldier on. Continue wearing her blacks and greys. Continue with her study of all magics dealing death and destruction. Was it right for him to let her think things could be peachy, and wonderful? He hadn't been....entirely honest with her. She had no idea that he was unsent, and she was in love with a dead man.  
  
Sleeping with a dead man.  
  
He couldn't ask her to wait for him. To go onto the Farplane, and ask her to live out her days never loving another, and wait to love again after she herself was dead. That was such a very long time. He couldn't give her all the things he knew she must want. Children, happy home life. He couldn't marry her, then ask her to spend the rest of her life waiting to go to him. It just wasn't right.  
  
"I love you." Auron whispered to Lulu.  
  
He watched her eyelids flutter, and then her arms tighten around him as she snuggled closer to him in sleep.  
  
As much as he loathed the idea, perhaps he should cast her away. Let her get on with her life with someone else, and hope......hope that she came to him on the Farplane.  
  
But as he watched her sleep....he couldn't do it. Sooner would he tear out his other eye, and cast it away.  
  
He would just....have to think of something else. There had to be another option. 


	15. Thrown Gauntlet

****I still don't own Square-Enix. I still don't own the characters. *le sigh*****  
  
Chapter 15  
  
Warm breezes stirred over the grasses of the Calm Lands. The endless plain stretched out, further, and ended at the foot of the Gagazet Mountains.  
  
Beneath her boots, the sun-parched ground was crunching, and Lulu listened to her every step, and felt her mind slipping away. She let her thoughts wander where they would, comforted in the fact that whatever fiend came at them, she would be able to see with such open land around her.  
  
Beside her, Auron walked; the two of them brought up the rear of the party. The sun glinted off the dark glass of his lens, and for perhaps the thirtieth time that morning, he shifted his eyes over onto the shapely hips of the mage who'd shared her bedroll with him the night previous.  
  
"You must be sweltering under that corset.."  
  
His voice sounded low enough for only her to hear. Lulu stopped her pace for a moment, and turned back to look at him. Purple fingernails dug into the plush fur of the moogle she clutched. Her lips curved in a smile.  
  
"Perhaps you'd like to take it off of me?"  
  
A sort of grunting laughter came from Auron; His mouth was split with a wide grin. Through his one good eye, he watched Lulu's face beam with a wicked smile, and then she turned to face forward, and resume her watch.  
  
As soon as she was turned away, the grin on his face began to fade a little. Mt. Gagazet was looming very close. The way up the mountain would be long and hard, and many summoners and their guardians fell on their way. He didn't think it would happen to this party, just as it hadn't happened to Braska's party. The key was to have a well-balanced party, and barring that, a healthy supply of potions. Their stop at Rin's agency had taken care of that last variable, regardless of the fact that their party was powerful enough to be just fine.  
  
One could never be too careful.  
  
And then, eventually, Auron would have to confess to Lulu that he wasn't going to be able to be with her after Yuna's pilgrimage ended.  
  
He loved her. Yes, he did. He loved her so much, and it had come on him so suddenly that he'd had no time to prepare for it. That addictive mix of frailty and strength. There was no doubt about it; Lulu was all woman, and it was all he could do sometimes, to not pull her to the side of the road and ravish her until they were both exhausted and useless.  
  
It scared him, sometimes, how much he loved her. But of course, he'd never admit it.  
  
Once more, his eyes strayed to her body, and this time, when he looked away, Auron met Wakka's reproachful eyes.  
  
Bloody hell... Auron thought.  
  
Slowly, Wakka began to lag behind, and he leveled his pace with Auron.  
  
No one noticed, and even Lulu began to distance herself from the two, unknowing.  
  
"What you doing, Sir Auron?" Wakka's tone implied absolutely no respect when he said Auron's title; in fact...it was downright hostile.  
  
"Wakka?" Auron nudged his sunglasses up his nose.  
  
A confrontation was coming. He could smell it.  
  
"Maybe if you keep your eyes of Lu's ass, you'd be a logical choice to guard the rear of this party. But you keep ogling, and one of these times, a Malboro might wipe us all out."  
  
"Don't be ridiculous." Auron snapped. "Who's guarding the right flank while you're back here giving me lessons on how to do my job?"  
  
WHAM!  
  
Wakka's fist met with Auron's jaw, and the two went tumbling down on the road. Auron could hear Lulu scream, and then he pounded his fist back into Wakka's face.  
  
The two scrapped for perhaps a minute and half before Tidus and Kimahri were able to get them seperated. Yuna stepped out, and between the two. It was one of the first times that anyone had seen her absolutely furious.  
  
"What is wrong with you two?"  
  
She berated them both, while Auron raised his jaw, and Wakka began to scratch the back of his head. A flush settled on his face, and he looked downward. Auron's teeth began to grind with his embarassment.  
  
"I won't pretend that everything has been peachy between us all since the Thunder Plains. Everyone knows that you and Lulu are an item, Sir Auron. And everyone knows that you're upset about it, Wakka."  
  
Both men gaped at her. That she would set it out so succinctly, and be willing to call a spade, a spade, when they were all trying to keep such a facade of calm was well.....totally alien to all of them.  
  
"I'm telling you three now...whatever issues you have, whatever problems...I expect them to be resolved before we reach the summit of Gagazet. Zanarkand is just beyond, and we're going to need unity when we reach the sacred ground."  
  
Yuna glowered at them. Her arms folded over her small chest.  
  
"I know I don't put my foot down often. Most of the time, I let you lead me where you will. But I'm doing it now. If we're all to bicker amongst ourselves, and indulge in this disharmony, then we might as well return to Bevelle, and Via Purifico and die there!"  
  
"'M sorry, Yuna." Wakka bent his head. Yuna's talking-to had made him red in the face.  
  
Auron too, inclined his head. His respect for Yuna had just grown threefold.  
  
"As you wish it, Lady Yuna." He mumbled.  
  
**************************  
  
I'm sorry it's such a short chapter, guys. I've got the worst case of writer's block known to man. I'll try to have something up soon.. 


	16. Just Hold Me, Then

The trials of Gagazet were ahead, and Wakka knew he should sleep. But how could he, when he had to face where Lulu and Auron were curled around each other beneath a fur? Warming each other, whispering and kissing.  
  
And here he was, alone beneath his own furs, where before Lulu would have been curled in the crook of his arm. It galled him to the bone, and the thing that made it worse was knowing that it was his own damn fault.  
  
Wakka's fists clenched, and he ducked his head, pulled his fur tighter over his body.  
  
The group had began their upward trek on Gagazet the previous day. The confrontation with the Ronsos had shaken everyone at first. But the positive outcome had heartened the group, and they began their journey to the other side of the mountain with renewed spirits.  
  
When he put his personal feelings aside, and focused on Yuna's goal, Wakka could almost forget that it had been Lulu and Auron to talk the Ronsos down. He could almost ignore the way Lulu and Auron had become a bit more open about their relationship, now that Yuna had laid everything out in the open. Wakka pretended he didn't care, or that he didn't notice. But beneath it all, the knowledge was a black acid that was eating away his existance. The green-eyed monster was rotting him from within.  
  
Was it evil of him, to wish for an all-powerful fiend in the trials ahead to devour Auron, and leave Lulu all alone? Wakka didn't even know if he wished it because he wanted Lulu for himself, or if he wished it because he knew that something happening to Auron would devastate Lulu. He was afraid that he wanted her spirit to be as crushed and as hurt as his was. He was afraid of his own pettiness.  
  
Wakka wished things that he dare not even admit to himself. If anything were to happen to Lulu.....  
  
No. He wouldn't allow himself to think that way. Wishing for one person's demise was quite enough, without wishing for two.  
  
Resolutely, he rolled away from the group. Put his back to the fire, and to the circle of his companions.  
  
'If I start to think this way, 'den I'm no better 'dan Seymour. Yuna be doin' this all for nothin'.'  
  
He had......to force himself...to be the better man.  
  
After all, for the first time since Chappu died, Lulu was happy. And that was a very good thing indeed.  
  
*********************************  
  
Beneath the warm furs, Auron's lips met Lulu's once more, and his fingers lingered on the slope of her breast.  
  
These moments were sweet heaven to him, and he had not felt this way since before Braska's pilgrimage. Auron never would have thought that coming to guard Tidus on his way to free Jecht, that he'd fall in love. That the slim, frail black mage would be anything more to him than just a comrade.  
  
But the thought of Jecht ruined the mood. Once Sin was defeated, and Jecht freed, the world must be righted as much as possible. That meant everyone being sent to the Farplane that should be. That meant him having to go. It wouldn't be right if he didn't go. It wouldn't be natural, the way things should be.  
  
Lulu was giving her heart and her body to dead man. As much as he loved her, that....wasn't right, and Auron could not help but start thinking that perhaps he was defiling her, every time he entered her.  
  
His hand spread out over her Lulu's chest, and he kissed her forehead.  
  
"There is something I need to tell you."  
  
"What is it?" Her voice was husky, placid.  
  
"After the pilgrimage is over, I'm going to go away."  
  
Auron heard Lulu's breath stop, and then become faster. He could practically feel the glare of her eyes burning into him, even in the darkness afforded by the fur.  
  
"What?" That voice, previously husky, and welcoming, now had an undercurrent of murder.  
  
"Please, listen." For the first time, the legendary guardian sounded unsure of himself, and a trifle daunted.  
  
"What?" Lulu asked again.  
  
Her hand came up to his, and her fingers tightened painfully over his. Auron was, for a moment, surprised at the strength in her petite grip.  
  
"I am....an unsent.." Auron began slowly. He felt fear creep into his heart.  
  
He knew that she had every right to cast him away, to slap him, and call him a liar, and to no longer want him near her. He knew it, but he was still terrified of it. But Auron did his best to conceal it. He didn't realize that the pain was showing in his good eye, and that his mouth had tightened with the reluctance of the telling.  
  
Lulu's grip remained tight, and Auron cursed the darkness. He wished he could see those claret eyes, and divine what was going through her mind.  
  
But at length, her grip relaxed, and then her hand fell away from his. Auron was surprised to feel a warm droplet fall on his wrist, and then another on his forearm.  
  
She was crying.  
  
There was the sound of a small, wracking sob, and then he felt her hands come up to cover her face.  
  
"So, you're going to leave me too..."  
  
"It is not that I want to. It is more that I should. That it would be the right thing to do."  
  
The silence from Lulu did not give him any encouragement. Auron wrapped his arms around her, and pulled her tight against his chest. He felt her chest heaving, felt her crying.  
  
"If I stay, I will be no better than Mika, than Seymour. Death should not rule life, and the dead should not be governed by the living. When Yuna sets things right, everything that is not natural should be set right as well. That includes the Unsent going to eternal rest in the Farplane."  
  
The words pained him to say. He felt Lulu gasping against his chest. He felt his shirt going wet on the front from her tears. There were times that he hated having to do what was right.  
  
"You cannot be selfish, just this once....?" Lulu's voice came soft, and broken, muffled from her face being pressed to his chest.  
  
"I cannot. I have been selfish enough in this life. It is time for me to atone for my sins.."  
  
Lulu was silent, save for her crying, and Auron held her, feeling very weak and powerless. He could not recall feeling so impotent since Braska and Jecht's sacrifice.  
  
At great length, Lulu's arms went around his torso, and she lay her cheek against his chest. She drew breath, and spoke.  
  
"I do not care that you are Unsent. I love you all the same."  
  
"You are sleeping with a walking corpse."  
  
Lulu seemed stunned for a second, but she quickly recovered her resolve, and set her lips.  
  
"No, I am not. Death is the absence of spirit. Just like Chappu isn't truly dead, just like Braska isn't truly dead, just as High-Summoner Yocun isn't truly dead. Their spirits live on. And to twine with their spirits isn't sleeping with their corpses."  
  
"How very macabre." Auron attempted to inject some humour in the situation, to lighten the mood. Call it a poor judgement call on his part.  
  
Lulu did not laugh, but she did not reproach him either.  
  
"I would wait for you." She said.  
  
"You waited for Chappu. I would not have you waste your life waiting for me when you still have so much of it before you."  
  
"There is nothing I can do or say to turn you from this path, is there?"  
  
"I must do what is right. Otherwise, I am not only just like them...I AM them."  
  
Lulu's arms tightened around him, and Auron's tightened around her.  
  
"Then....just...hold me. Hold me while we sleep."  
  
So Auron did. And while Lulu's sobs gradually halted, and she grew limp and heavy in his arms, he swore that he would do right by her.  
  
He was going away. He could not leave her heartbroken. And the only thing he could think to do was to repair the rift between her and Wakka. 


	17. Understanding

The sun crested over the peaks of Gagazet, and shone brilliantly down on the snow. Every crystal seemed to glitter as the light hit it. Though the wind still blew, and shifted loose powder snow around, the group was warm, and sheltered in the cave they camped overnight in.  
  
It was still relatively early. Yuna lay sprawled in her bedroll, snorting as she breathed, and beside her, Tidus was passed out as well. The rest of the group was in their respective places, each in their own pose.  
  
Only Auron was awake, perched against a rock. The great blade of his masamune lay in his lap, and with a whetstone, he honed the blade. The fur lining of the coat Ren had lent him had kept him toasty warm; he was glad for it. Every now and again, he could see an errant breeze ruffling the bits of fur that peeped out from the cuffs and collar of the coat.  
  
It had been a lovely sunrise. Well...it was a lovely sunrise, to be more apt. It wasn't quite over with. The sun was filtering down through the thick clouds that surrounded Gagazet, and the small, frequent patches of light was lighting up the mountain and the snow covering it. Auron watched the rays of sun creep over one particular peak, and had to catch his breath as the stone shimmered purple, then gray-green, then the dark gray-blue, which was the usual colouring.  
  
It wasn't over yet, and Auron lay the masamune aside. His hand snaked out, and onto the shoulder of the lovely, young woman laid curled beneath the pile of furs beside him. He leaned over, and buried his face in the place where her neck met her shoulder, and took a deep breath of her hair. Auron's eyes closed, and he felt himself slip away to heaven.  
  
Lulu had been on two pilgrimages previous, but she'd never made it up here, to this point. Auron had been here once before, and he remembered that before, he had once again been in awe of the majesty and beauty of the great mountain at sunrise. She couldn't miss this. Just couldn't. This was a rare moment, a moment of simple pleasure.  
  
"Lulu." Auron whispered.  
  
There came a small grunt from the sleeping figure.  
  
"Lulu. Wake up." His lips settled on her jaw. "Come on. You want to see this."  
  
"What? What is it?" Lulu cracked open her eyes, and mumbled sleepily.  
  
"Come on, sweetheart."  
  
Auron's arms went around her, and the one main fur that she was laying beneath. Though it was an awkward package at first, he hefted her into his lap, with the fur still wrapped around her. Once she was in his arm and on top of his thighs, he found her much easier to settle, and he curled her up in his arms.  
  
For a moment, he was almost distracted from the beauty of the sunrise, by the beauty of Lulu. She looked innocent, and delicate, the way her hair cascaded over half-slit eyes, and tumbled over her shoulders. She lay her head against his chest, and curled her hands around his forearms, and looked out to where he was gesturing.  
  
Lulu looked up to the peaks of the mountain, and saw immediately what Auron wanted her to see. The spectrum of colours was amazing, and attested that the mountains themselves were not just pure stone. It must have been shot through with crystal and quartz, the way the sunlight refracted, and made the stone seem to shimmer. She watched the rainbow of colours play and mix with the sparkling, intense purity of the snow, and tumble down to follow where the sun would lead it.  
  
"Beautiful." She breathed.  
  
Auron rested his head against her, and his lips settled somewhere between her cheek and ear.  
  
"I saw it before. Last time." He spoke softly, so as to not ruin the moment by waking the others. "I thought perhaps my eyes were deceiving me, or that Jecht had put something in my sake jug to make me hallucinate. But Braska explained that Gagazet is just as much crystal as stone, and that the sunrise and sunset did this every time."  
  
Lulu was silent, watching the sunrise, simply enjoying being in his arms.  
  
Auron drew breath, and spoke, after a great while.  
  
"I am sorry that I made you cry last night. It is the furthest thing from my heart, that you should be in any kind of pain. That I caused you pain.that kills me."  
  
"I know you didn't mean to hurt me."  
  
Lulu felt her throat constricting painfully. She had to stop and swallow a few times to choke the lump down. When at last it was gone, she started again, with tears in her eyes.  
  
"I know you are trying to do what is right. I know that there are a great many things wrong with Spira, and that some semblance of a balance must be reached."  
  
"Were I not Unsent..I would marry you." Auron said, softly. "I would marry you, and keep you pregnant year after year. We'd have a house in Besaid, and I'd teach the local kids how to use a sword, and you could teach others how to use their magical gifts. We'd raise a brood of children, and everything would be fine."  
  
Lulu had to choke back a cry. How unfair of him to describe the life that would never be! She knew that he was saying these things more for his benefit than for hers, but she felt as if he were torturing her.  
  
"But she fixed all that. I fixed it, actually. Me and my stupid youth. My anger." Auron sighed. "Even if I did stay behind, I couldn't give you any children, which is something that I'd want more than anything."  
  
Lulu swallowed.  
  
Auron felt his cheeks tinge with a faint shade of red. He felt like a fool. Probably, if he'd had any macho friends around, he'd be afraid of them overhearing. But as it was, he was only mildly embarrassed by that admission. His male pride was only moderately wounded.  
  
"So.we know that our time together is short. I know not what Yuna will choose to do in Zanarkand. But I do not want our last few days together to be filled with sadness, or anger, or angst." Auron whispered against her temple.  
  
"I want to spend every moment I have with you, committing every detail of you to my memory. I do not know what the Farplane will be like, but I'd wager that the only thing I'll be able to take with me will be my memories."  
  
"Oh...!" Lulu felt a small cry escape her throat.  
  
Her arms snaked up to wrap around his torso, and she squeezed him tight to her. Auron responded by squeezing her back. The desperate embrace between the two of them threatened to leave them both dizzy from breath, but they clung to each other regardless.  
  
"This is what I want, too!" Lulu gasped. "I want a thousand more 'one last kisses'. You're absolutely right. This could be so horrible, but we will not make it so!"  
  
Auron bowed his head, and lay his lips possessively on hers. The two grappled at each other for the moment, lost in the kiss, trying almost to internalize the essence of one another.  
  
Their lips parted, and Auron's hand came up to stroke the silky, black hair. He cupped her to him, and rocked gently back and forth.  
  
The two only barely noticed the rest of the party stirring, and beginning to wake. They were closed out as much as possible to preserve the moment.  
  
Unbeknownst to the couple, Wakka lay in his bedroll, back still turned towards them, listening the entire time.  
  
He had woken instantly, when Auron had reached over and picked Lulu up. Old habits die hard, and Wakka still subconsciously guarded Lulu. He had heard the slight sounds of the furs and woman being gathered up, and his eyes had snapped open immediately. It took him a second to realize what was happening, but as soon as he did, he lay still. Luckily, his back was towards them, so they did not see him, lying there awake.  
  
He didn't know what to do, at first. Wakka didn't know if he should make known to Auron and Lulu that he was awake, or just pretend to be asleep. He wouldn't admit that he was curious, and wanted to know what they would say, but he also didn't want to embarrass them, or intrude on the moment.  
  
He listened to every word, and found himself choking up when Auron spoke on spending every spare moment together. He could barely force himself to continue lying there, and not show his shock at Auron being an Unsent.  
  
An Unsent! Auron! For how long?! But he was planning on going away..  
  
When they all defeated Sin, Auron must be planning on asking Yuna to send him.  
  
And suddenly, it was all so clear to Wakka. Auron did love Lulu. He wasn't just using her.  
  
For some reason, this made Wakka feel so much better. So much calmer.  
  
And so it was, that after the group had gotten up and around, and Lulu and Auron had disentangled themselves from one another, Wakka sought Auron out.  
  
"Gotta speak to you."  
  
Wakka sort of scowled down at his shoes, tucking his shoulders up and sinking a little lower into the down lining of his coat.  
  
Auron looked down at Wakka through the dark sunglasses, bemused. A Hm! came from his lips. What did Wakka want? Was this another confrontation?  
  
The two separated from the party, and went to stand outside the cave, a short distance away. Yuna, and Rikku paused from where they were shaking out bedrolls, and watched the two men in surprise. The rest of the group followed their gaze and sighted the two men, walking, and speaking.  
  
"Wait a minute." Tidus began rubbing the back of his head. "Are they..?"  
  
"They are." Lulu interrupted. "I don't understand it myself."  
  
Away from the group, Wakka stuffed his hands in his pockets. He continued to look down at the ground, but he spoke.  
  
"Bet they're all watchin'."  
  
Auron cast a glance over his shoulder, and saw that indeed, the entire group was focused on them. Lulu stood with a confused look on her face. Auron raised a hand in a small gesture to her. She shrugged, and turned away. He saw her mouth move, saying something to the assembly.  
  
"They are." He said.  
  
"Figures." Wakka said. "Everything's been.kind of tense."  
  
"I'd say that's an understatement."  
  
"Yah, well.I wanted to say sorry!" Wakka stopped and turned. "That girl.she was all I had. When we were growing up, it was the three of us. Chappu, and us, I mean. And it was like, some big deal over who was going to end up with Lu, 'cause we both liked her. But she liked Chappu better."  
  
Wakka's hand came up, and his fingers ran through the red spike of his hair.  
  
"I guess I shoulda seen that comin'. I mean, Chappu was really smart. He was way up on her level. They had a lot of conversations, and I don't know how to talk to Lu for a long time like that, 'cause we don't like a lot of the same things, you know? But anyway, they were gonna get married and all, when Chappu got back from fightin' Sin."  
  
Auron was silent, listening. A response hadn't been needed yet.  
  
"Lookin' back on it now, I think that maybe Chappu knew he wasn't comin' back. It was a suicide mission, and I think he knew it. But he thought it would work, and he thought that every man pitching and helping as much as possible would turn the tide in the fight. 'Fore he left, he came to me, and told me then that he was gonna use a machina weapon. Then he said that he wanted me to look after Lulu. 'You always loved her.' He said. 'You don't gotta pretend. I know you do, and it's okay, 'cause I don't got a good feeling about this fight, and I want you to take care of her.'"  
  
"Chappu couldn't just not go?" Auron asked, a bit surprised. "He knew he was most likely going to die, and he didn't decide not to go?"  
  
"He meant the not-good feeling as in he was gonna die, not as in the battle was going to be for nothin'. He thought it would work. I think he thought he was going to have to die to do it, you know?"  
  
"I see." Auron's fingers slid his sunglasses up his nose a bit. "Self-sacrifice for the one he loved."  
  
"Chappu was noble, you know?" Wakka's face screwed for a second, then he forced himself to relax. "So, you know.when he didn't come back, I took care of her the best I could. I know I'm not as smart as some people. I'm not as savvy. I did the best I know how. I always thought that one day she'd see that, and realize that I loved her, and we'd be together eventually. But it didn't work out that way."  
  
"Wakka.." Auron began to speak.  
  
"No, Auron, I gotta finish. I know you're Unsent. I heard you both talkin' this morning. And you know..it's like Chappu all over again. You're gonna go away, you know you're not gonna come back, and I'll be here to take care of her."  
  
Surprise filled Auron. His only outward showing of it, though, was just a raised brow.  
  
"You heard us talking?" The question was not just one question, but several others rolled into one.  
  
"Yeah. I heard it all. I didn't want to say anything 'cause it woulda embarrassed Lu. 'Sides.I thought that maybe you two needed that moment."  
  
"It's fairly well ruined now."  
  
"Not really." Wakka turned red. "Anyhow.that was kinda..all I wanted to say."  
  
The red-haired man trailed off, and he looked down at his feet once more.  
  
"So, you want me to ask you to look after Lulu after Yuna sends me?"  
  
"Not that. I was kinda just sayin' that I would, regardless."  
  
"Hope springs eternal." Auron once more pushed his sunglasses up his nose.  
  
Wakka flushed a crimson red. He didn't know how to respond to that.  
  
"I won't quell your hope. I can't. It will always be there, just like your love for her, apparently." A pause. "I appreciate it. I know that you'll try to take care of her. But whether or not she'll let you..that's an entirely different matter."  
  
"I know."  
  
For a moment, the two men stood there in the snow, regarding each other.  
  
"Are we united in opinion, then?" The question was posed by Auron.  
  
"You know what Yuna said yesterday. Discord, and lack of harmony will get us all killed. I can personally attest for this."  
  
"Zanarkand.." Wakka said.  
  
"Yes. We have to well, and truly, be a team. No squabbling. I'll do my best, if you will as well."  
  
"We both fightin' for the same thing."  
  
Wakka's eyes raised to Auron's, and the dark-haired man looked back at him coolly, with respect on his face. Wakka extended his hand, and Auron grasped it.  
  
"Yes, we are, my friend. Yes, we are."  
  
A faint smile came and went on Wakka's face, the first in as many days. As if in response, the corner of Auron's mouth turned up, and the matter settled between the two, they turned, and trudged through the deep snow, back to the camp. 


	18. Selfish

Still don't own the game, or the characters, or SquareEnix

Lulu's first sight of Zanarkand took her breath away. Beneath the sky which always seemed to show twilight and stars, mixed with the breathtaking sunrise and sunet, she curled into the crook of Auron's arm, and gazed out over the ruins.  
  
"Zanarkand." She whispered. "I never thought we'd make it here."  
  
"It has been a rough few days."  
  
Seymour had confronted the group once more at the summit of the mountain, and Auron had felt his heart fill with rage.  
  
'Why can't you just _die_?' He thought.  
  
During the battle, Seymour and Lulu had exchanged volleys of black magic. It made Auron's heart proud to watch this beautiful woman....his woman by rights....unleash her Flare fury on Seymour, and gain the group the advantage by knocking Seymour off-guard and shifting him into the defensive. Then Yunalesca had sent her dog to test them as they emerged from the caves, and the battle was hard-fought and won. Now...a brief respite. A night spent under the Zanarkand stars and sky, while the group recuperated around a small fire. There was a mournful air about, and Tidus had spent much of the early evening pacing around the campsite. He'd climbed a nearby summit, and stared out over the city of ruins, then come back down to stare into the fire. This was a routine he'd repeated a few times during the night, before finally settling down with his arms curled around Yuna.  
  
Auron had seen Wakka gazing wistfully at Lulu a time or two, but the red- headed blitzer seemed to be doing his best to quell the intense emotions, and keep himself pulled together. Auron was grateful to him for it. He had no idea what Yuna would do when she saw that the promise of the Final Aeon was an altar on which to slaughter oneself, and a beloved friend. Braska had felt it was a worthwhile compromise. Auron knew it to be a lie now, and he knew in the pit of his gut that Yuna would know it to be a lie as well.  
  
And there were times that Auron had found peculiar thoughts popping into his mind.  
  
'I don't want to go...' He mused.  
  
It was such a juvenile viewpoint. It was so akin to the temper fits Tidus had thrown when he was growing up. But more and more, Auron found himself inwardly resisting the idea of being Sent, no matter what he told Lulu, and Wakka. It disturbed him to say the least. He had been so deadset when he started this journey. Before Tidus had even been spirited away from the dream Zanarkand, when Auron knew deep in his gut that Jecht was tired of the killing and the death, and wanted his dear friend to end it. That had been the plan. Bring Tidus. Kill Sin. Bring a fleeing Calm, or the Eternal Calm. Whichever. Jecht had just wanted release.  
  
Now Yunalesca was to come. And it had all been so simple. Right the wrongs. Send the Unsent. But Auron knew that there were many Unsent out there, and they couldn't all go. They wouldn't all go. Belgemine....she had reeked of pyreflies. Maechen was Unsent, Auron knew this as well. Once you were there, you could see it in others.  
  
There was thought in Auron's head, a notion that he was cautiously entertaining in the caves of Gagazet, and he was ashamed of it.  
  
'Maybe I don't have to go.'  
  
Oh, it shamed him to think of causing Lulu all that pain, only to change his mind. It gave him a small, childish measure of satisfaction to think of killing Wakka's hope and spiriting Lulu away to some distant corner of Spira. And Lulu had said that she was perfectly willing to live childless, as long as she was with him. It wasn't right of him to ask her to deprive herself.  
  
But it was her choice....  
  
Auron stirred suddenly, and raised his head to look around the group. The seven of them were clustered around the campfire. It was late. Kimahri and Rikku stood watch, but the rest of them had pretty much drifted off. They were all trying to recover lost strength before they tackled the immense task of fighting their way through the dome. But his good eye rested on Lulu, who was curled up on her pallet by him. She wasn't sleeping, but reading instead. Eternally studying her spellbooks. Auron didn't know if the nightmares still plagued her, but she seemed to be sleeping better since Bikanel Island.  
  
A bit of foolish pride flowed in Auron at thinking that perhaps he had something to do with it.  
  
Quietly, so he would not disturb the others, Auron lay down, and stretched out next to her. Lulu looked up at him, her fingers pausing where they'd been following a diagram on a page, and she gave Auron a faint smile.  
  
"I've been thinking...." Auron started, his voice hushed.  
  
"Should I express shock?"  
  
The corner of Auron's mouth turned up. His little imp.  
  
"My name is Auron, not Tidus."  
  
This brought a smile to Lulu's face, and Auron could not restrain himself from leaning over and kissing her.  
  
"As I was saying...I was thinking. What you said earlier...about not wanting children..."  
  
The smile at once dropped from Lulu's face, and she pushed her book aside. Her body turned so that she was laying on her stomach, propped up on her elbows, and she looked into Auron's good eye.  
  
"If you're playing with me, I'll kill you." Lulu's voice grated out, harsh, but quiet. "I think you had best tell me all of what you were thinking."  
  
Auron blinked, a tad ashamed, but he did his best not to show it.  
  
"I am thinking that perhaps I do not have to go."  
  
Lulu looked down. Auron could see that she was biting furiously on her lower lip, most likely trying to search for words. At length, she focused on him once more.  
  
"You know what I told you before. That still stands, you know."  
  
"I have never doubted your devotion."  
  
The pair were silent. Somewhere in the distance, in the great Dome, a fiend howled. Lulu's skin prickled in response.  
  
"What has changed your mind?"  
  
"The end is coming soon." Auron said simply. "I find that I do not want to leave you."  
  
Somewhere in Lulu's belly, butterflies took flight. Hopes that she had tried to kill were suddenly resurrected.  
  
"It is cruel of you to change your mind while I am still reeling from the first decision. I do not know whether to be overjoyed, relieved, suspicious...and I find that I don't like not having perfect trust for you."  
  
"I'm sorry....it's hard to explain..." Auron started.  
  
"I'm a bright girl. Why don't you give it a shot?"  
  
"This is going to be confusing."  
  
"Just stop stalling and start talking."  
  
"For a long time, I have been doing my duty, and doing what is right. Before Braska, I functioned on what Yevon and the temples told me. After Braska and Jecht died, I became obsessed with right and wrong. And for the most part of this pilgrimage, I was still locked into the idea of having to do what was right."  
  
Auron took off his sunglasses, and rubbed fingers over his good eye. Lulu could see that he was tired. So very tired, and very sincere in what he was telling her.  
  
"Then we went to Guadosalam, and the Farplane, and you came back so frail and pale. And I found myself thinking about you more and more. I still thought that when Yuna decided to destroy Sin, one way or another, I must go away. But other things were tugging at my heart. When Sin broke through in Macalania, and took us to Bikanel, I had the most horrible dream. And I'm only just beginning to make sense of it."  
  
"Dreams do not necessarily mean anything."  
  
"This is true. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. But this was not. I know this, just as I know that water is wet."  
  
"So tell me about it. What was this dream?"  
  
"I dreamt we were married. Tidus was dead. Yuna was married to Seymour. This was horrible enough. Then you were dead. Dead before my eyes."  
  
Lulu was at a loss for words. It didn't matter, as it turned out, because Auron resumed speaking.  
  
"I have thought on these things more and more. And the more I ponder it, the more I realize that although I am being pulled towards what I feel I must sacrifice, I am also being pulled in the direction of my heart, which is to spirit you away to a far off corner of Spira, and live there with you as my wife until we are ready to depart for the Farplane. Together."  
  
Lulu stared at Auron. It was the most he'd ever said in one sitting. It was also totally unlike him. But then, he'd said a lot of things on this pilgrimage, to her, that were totally unlike him. Enough for her to realize that she saw a side of him that few people every really saw.  
  
"You have changed your mind so suddenly." She stammered.  
  
"I know. And for that, I apologize. I have been struggling with this for several days."  
  
"We have to finish this pilgrimage, no matter what."  
  
Auron smirked at her, laid his hand on her shoulder.  
  
"Of course. But afterwards.."  
  
Lulu looked down at her hands.  
  
"What if there is nothing after?"  
  
Auron went silent, then he laid his free hand on her fingers.  
  
"During the final battle....I want you to stay as far away from it as possible."  
  
Lulu blinked.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Your magic can be cast from very far away. You'll be safest if you're as far away as possible."  
  
"I won't be a coward, Auron. I'm not going to hang back and let everyone else deal with.....whatever it is that we fight."  
  
Auron's lips pursed a bit. She had no idea what was coming. She had no idea about Yunalesca. In a flash, Auron remembered exactly how he had become an Unsent. The fierce, powerful slap across his face that had taken his right eye, and eventually killed him replayed in his mind. He could not....would not see something like that happen to Lulu. And he knew that she would react in a similar way. Yevon was a lie. The temples were built on foundations of lies. The Final Aeon was a lie. Sin was a part of the cycle of death that held Spira firm in the grips of Mika, and Seymour. Auron was afraid of Lulu's rage, not only because she was a passionate person, but also because he was afraid of what it would lead her to do. What would she say and do once she found out what the Final Summoning was all about? What would she say and do once she found out that Sin was essentially in league with the undead who controlled the religious power structure of the world?  
  
"I know you're not a coward. I know that what I ask will be just that: a request. It is truly your own will that will decide the role you'll play within the Dome. But..."  
  
_'...you have to live through this battle!'_ Auron stopped. He couldn't say it. Self-sacrifice was the noblest thing known to man. If it was Lulu's decision, he could not stop her.  
  
Lulu looked at him, and seemed to divine what he was thinking. Her fingers came up to stroke over his cheek, played over the stubble.  
  
"You worry too much. I have no intention of dying."  
  
Auron's arms snaked around Lulu's waist, and he tugged her over to him. His lips went to bury themselves in her dark hair.  
  
"You have no idea what's ahead." He muttered darkly.  
  
"You won't tell us."  
  
"I can't bear to. It won't do any good. I'll bias you. I'll prejudice you. I cannot be a factor in any decision that Yuna or we guardians make."  
  
Lulu was quiet. She couldn't find any good response, save for the typical ones..._'don't worry, we'll make the right decision.' 'don't worry, it will all turn out for the best.'_ They were just words. She wouldn't throw out idle words.  
  
"Where are we going to live, once this is all over?"  
  
She felt Auron's cheeks raise in a smile against her neck.  
  
"I was thinking Besaid..." Auron replied.  
  
"Tell me about how it'll be then..."  
  
It was her attempt to lighten the mood. And it worked. The couple stayed up late into the night, talking, planning, now that Auron had decided to be selfish, and stay behind with the one he loved.....

to be continued 


End file.
